Sunday, November 25, 2007

open letter to our housemate in our basement

dear basement chick,
why do you listen to such uninteresting, bad music? it amazes me on a daily basis that you never get sick of listening to that lionel richie album over and over again at top volume. yeah, i understand there may be some sort of 'hipster irony' to your listening to countless hours of lionel richie, michael macdonald, peter cetera, etc...but, every day??!
also, for there to be 'hipster irony' attached to the listening of these awful albums, you would also have to, at some point, listen to a few good albums, at least every now and then. but, you don't. i would even understand if you listened to these albums for sentimental reasons, or if maybe they were a 'guilty pleasure'...but, this is obviously the entire content of your music collection.
you are fashionably dressed usually, you lived in europe for a while, you work for an environmental non profit, you have a ridiculously french sounding name and probably speak fluent french as well...i don't get it, you look so good on paper. what is wrong with you, basement chick?

i don't need to understand you or your reasons, i just want to spend one day of my life without the melody to 'stuck on you' in my head. i feel like i'm walking around in a walmart at 2am, while i'm here in my own apartment!

in closing, you obviously need a serious reality TV style music collection makeover. if not for the sake of your neighbors, just think of your neighbors children...think of the children!!

with sincerest sincerity,
your upstairs housemates


Lloyd said...

It's either ironic that you can't tell if her music selection is ironic, or else her sense of irony just kicked your irony right in the taint. If you really want to find out, blast your hipster music over her ironic Lionel Richie albums. The irony of that should make her head explode: Imagine you're ironically playing cool music to cancel out the irony of her cool ironic music. Then if she asks, you could just tell her you were being ironic.

By the way, she probably has the coolest ironic hipster blog on the Internet and she's talking how her upstairs neighbors could never appreciate Lionel Richie.

aprildawn said...

this occurred to me as well, and i tried your suggestion already. (i actually tried blasting some bill monroe, to no avail...although my Haitian neighbors were more than annoyed).
i like the commodores, that's about as far as my ironic lionel richie love goes. guess i'm not as hip as i always thought. crap.

jesse said...

It's not really related but last night I decided I don't really care for Paul Simon.

jewlover2 said...

Gosh, Paul Simon is nothing short of a God, in my book. Ah each his own. Incidentally, my husband and I would be more than pleased w/ 'basement chick's' music selection, ourselves. Lional Richie, Peter Cetera, AND Michael Mcdonald??? Feel free to come live in my basement any time! :)

Lloyd said...

Man, that's ironic. I think.