Saturday, March 17, 2007

idiocy unbounded...

for almost five years mister irving and i have lived in the same apartment near boston. it is a two level apartment, and the basement is home to our roomate, andy...the basement is finished with it's own kitchen, bath, etc, so it's more like a seperate apartment, we just share bills and laundry.
andy's not so bad of a roomate, over the years, we've had to put up with small bits of his idiocy, but nothing truly damaging.
over the years, we've also had many friends want to live in his apartment, because the rent is cheap and the place is huge. but andy never budged.
so, last month, in the 9th month of my pregnancy, with my due date just around the corner, andy tells that he's moving out. he gives the usual months notice, and even though we're very annoyed at his timing, it's his choice, his life, he has the right to do whatever he chooses. he puts an ad on craigslist, and in one day has something like 30 responses...that night we met with a few, and picked one very nice girl from swiss background who works for a non profit. she agreed on our terms and we told andy to work out the details about the move in, since, to make matters even more complicated he had decided to move out mid month.
what day do you think andy picked to move out? that's right, today. it is st.patrick's day, last night there was a snowstorm, and our baby is 10 days old. perfect.
not only did andy decide to move today, but he also decided that it would be a good idea to tell the new roomate that she could move 'in' today as well, and he decided to not start moving out until late this afternoon when the new girl showed up with all her stuff (and she had driven from an hour away to get here). smooth. unknown to andy, his basement apartment also flooded this morning...yay! more chaos.
andy is moving, landlord is wetvaccing the basement, new roomate shows up with all her stuff loaded into her parents car, i'm running on very little sleep and still learning how to breastfeed a baby every two hours, and mister irving (bless him) is trying to keep the peace between all of us. (oh, and to make things even better, when the new roomate gets here and is pissed that she can't move in, andy somehow disappears).
i pretty much drew the shades, locked our doors and stopped answering the phone, and told mister irving to tell anyone if they came to knock on my door they would be beaten with a very hard and hatefilled shoe.

i suppose the chaos will die down soon enough, but i would like to say this:
to andy; you're really going to have to stop being a douchebag and growup, you may be moving out of the basement, but you're still going to be that "kid living downstairs" if you can't get your shit together better than this.
to our new roomate, guen; many apologies, i promise we're not as idiotic as that 'kid in the basement'.
to mister irving; thank you, and i love you (can't wait to curl up tonight with a pint of guiness and the secret of roan inish).
to harlan; stay cute, and keep smiling those gassy little smiles.


Lloyd said...

Would I be the first to nominate "Swiss Miss" as the official nickname for the new neighbor?

aprildawn said...

don't give ernie any ideas.