Tuesday, November 02, 2004

sweeping the nation...

i'm much more upset about bush being elected president than i thought i would be. yes, i voted...for kerry. and somewhere, deep down inside, i knew, with the way things have been going lately, that he wouldn't win. the united states is filled with too many greedy idiots for anything good to ever happen, regardless of who becomes president. buckle up everyone, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
i don't know if i can properly explain what's happening in my life without sounding like some sort of sad and tragic novel. "psychological displacement"...i think that's what they call it. i'm almost numb, at this point. tears come only every now and then.
this morning, at three a.m., i had a phone call from my mom, telling me that she had just had a phone call from daniel, my brother in the marines, in iraq. we were afraid of the worst when we found out that the nine marines that had recently been killed in iraq were all in daniel's battalion. he said that he knew most of them, and was close with a few of them. they were only about two miles away when the blast happened. so close. the reality of this whole indescribable madness hits home, every single day...and it's been hitting harder and harder lately.
add this to the incredible pain and tragedy that has already been happening to my family, and i honestly wonder how much more we can take.
if we are under the illusion that we have any sort of "control" over our lives, by trying to live our lives in certain ways (good or bad)...we are horribly wrong. because, as much as we try to 'understand' why such tragedies happen, the absolute truth is that there aren't any real reasons for them.
it's heartbreaking...almost literally, to try to accept this fact. but, there's nothing else to do...life will go on with, or without us, whether we like it or not.

dismal. i know. but hey, that's life, right?

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