putting this issue to rest

for a while now, i've been so back and forth in my head about sending harlan to preschool. big parts of me didn't see the point, large voices inside my head told me that he won't learn that way, and that being a stay at home mom, I could teach him these same things and in a more comfortable environment for him...but then, there was always the little voice, of doubt. the voice that whispers how i may be failing him on some level. they follow me around whenever i make any decision about harlan's future. preschool has become the standard for the northeast united states (as well as other places i'm sure). here, it seems, when your child is around the age of 2, you get the same look when you say you 'haven't picked out a preschool yet' as you get when your child is an infant and you tell people you didn't breastfeed. it's that look that moms give each other sometimes...that, "well, i guess everyone has their own way of raising their kids, but i think you're wrong" look (when really, they're doubting their own decisions too). it's good for their "social skills", everyone says, "even if they don't really learn anything". really? is it that good? can't i teach him social skills out in the real world, instead of having it taught to him in a classroom? riding the bus, going to museums, going to playgrounds, crafting at home, going to see music, looking at clouds, playing in the dirt...etc.etc....
i can imagine many situations where preschool would be beneficial for a child. i even agree with many of the preschool curriculums, like montessori, that focus more on creative play than on learning letters and numbers...but, for my own personal situation, i just don't see the need for it. and i don't want to rush harlan into learning things he's not ready to learn.
"Children must master the language of things, before they master the language of words" - Froebel, 1895

back and forth, back and forth. finally, after much research and painful self doubt, i feel i've come to a decision. as long as i am able to stay home during the day, harlan will not go to preschool.

there. i feel better. bring on puberty!