my 'missed connection' on craigslist

to the miserable pussy hipster who pushed me (twice) while i was dancing at the old crow medicine show at house of blues on wednesday;
i really really hope i ruined the rest of your evening. i could have made it worse by having you kicked out, but i didn't, because when you pushed me the second time and then ran behind your 5'2" girlfriend to hide, i couldn't help but laugh at you. i know your kind, you go to shows with your plaid pearl button shirts, your faded in all the right spot jeans (that you borrowed from your dad, who works a real job so you can pansy ass around boston and get an 'education'), your scraggly beard, your mussy hair, you're all about 'cool'...you stand around at shows with your arms crossed and scowl while everyone around you tries to have fun, and god forbid anyone dance or enjoy themselves when the band plays the single from their album, because oh my gawd, that is, like, SO uncool.
just a tip; i used to be a hipster like you, and then i grew up, and started enjoying my life and being nice to people...trying to make the world a nicer place to live in. i wasn't being an obnoxious drunk, i was dancing, and i was not aware that i was annoying you until you pushed me. the next time, how about being courteous and just saying 'excuse me, could you stop bumping into me, it's annoying.' that's all you have to do, it's a common courtesy that i'm pretty sure my two year old could figure out....instead of pushing me, like you're some spoiled rotten child with a dirty diaper.

seriously though, you should really be careful who you push around when you're at a show like that, because if my husband would have been there with me, he would have seriously hurt you.