happy new year! (i think)

at 11:30pm last night i was sitting in a rocking chair, trying desperately to calm my screaming baby to go to sleep (after sitting with him screaming and writhing in my arms for almost an hour). i'm not sure what he's going through, (growing pains, teething pains, etc, etc, you never know), but sleep is at a bare minimum in this house and new years eve just didn't seem that important. i had big plans for new years day, i was going to get up early, take a crispy cold walk around the block, do 8 sun salutations, and a bit of meditation on a fresh start...but harlan had other plans. at 11:55pm, my last look at the clock, we both finally drifted off to sleep in bed...the welcome of the new year came and went with a whisper, i didn't even hear the fireworks in boston bay.

i am excited for the new year because of these things:
1. harlan may learn to walk (party party!)
2. we're getting a bigger bed (yay, a real family bed!)
3. visits to europe are in the works
4. god willing, my pre baby body will come back to me

i am nervous and anxious for the new year because of these things:
1. my little brother's trial will begin and end (insurmountable fear and dread, too much even to think about)
2. harlan may learn to walk
3. travel means flying, i hate flying
4. this year may come and go without some necessary changes being made (stagnation, my ultimate fear)

i resolve to be a more organized mum, i resolve to be more patient and forgiving and to finally get my act together and learn another language (for harlan's sake)...would love to continue with french, but i think spanish might be more helpful.

sending out big love to all of my family of friends, and family of family...i hope that your new year is better than the last, or at least different from before.

(oh, and the pic of the baby seal is here because, well, it's adorable...happy new year baby seal!)