birth and death

this weekend i turned 31. since i have such cool and amazing friends, i made out like a bandit on the gift front. two small moleskines, a big bottle of limoncello, a cyanotype kit, lovely tribal necklace, books, and money from mother-in-law (which i quickly spent on line on cd's and books, of course). the weekend was lovely, although rainy, we spent the day looking at beautifully intricite, handmade glass flowers at harvard, and drinking expensive drinks at the oak bar in copley square.

usually, on my birthday, i would fall into sort of a sad slump, wondering where i was, how i got here, what i'm doing, etc, etc. but this year, i couldn't help but remember what happened last year on my birthday. it was the day after ernie's brother died very suddenly at the age of 23. no warning, he was very healthy, vibrant even, but happened to have an undetected problem with his adrenal glands. he was walking through the park with some friends, started feeling like crap suddenly, went to the emergency room, and a few hours later, he was gone. the day of my birthday, still reeling from the shock of it all, we helped his mother (he was an only child, he and ernie have the same father, different mothers) pick out pictures to make a collage for his funeral, and helped write his obituary for the paper, and basically walked around in a haze all day, wondering what the hell just happened.
so, this year, i resolved that i was just going to be genuinely happy to be alive. i really didn't care what i did on my birthday, i wanted to spend the day with ernie and enjoy living. i still couldn't get jason out of my head this weekend, but i guess that's a good thing. i suppose i'll always remember him on my birthday (as well as other days).

to lighten the mood of this post...here is a new picture of our hound.


how could you be in any way unhappy with a face like that around??