a few days out from the job loss. fear has completely settled into our bones. we weren't rich before, but now, now we are almost without options. we are both creative, yes, but we are both "self educated"...our lives never afforded us the opportunity for a college education. as we got older, it was one of those things we always put off doing. and then when hubby found this job, he built himself a place with this company, and he was making a pretty good living. we have a nice car, we have a nice place to live, a yard, a dog, nice clothes. then we had harlan, we felt stable. things became seriously 'adult'. deep inside, we knew we were just fooling ourselves, we knew that our future was completely tied to the moods of his boss, and his whims...it kept us up some nights, but we let it go.
still, a person makes their own decisions. and our decision was to leave ourselves open, without options and to get nice and cuddly into a very unstable situation.
and here we are. in full on freak out mode. i feel like i've been hit by a truck. in my youth, i would have seen this as an opportunity, a wonderful freedom that was plopped in my lap. but not now. not with a family. i am terrified. harlan is coming up on pre school age, and i have these horrible childhood memories of moving 4 times before i was age 7 (my dad was a plumber, there were always layoffs). it's not fun for a kid, and they DO remember.
i'm trying desperately to stay positive, but every time my mind wanders, i feel the tears in my throat. just doing quick searches for employment on craigslist for different cities turns up nothing for someone with no college education...not anything that will support us. we need healthcare, we need a substantial salary, and we need an apartment that will accept dogs.
peaches, right?
i'm going to stop writing now.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
possibility
possible cities to live in:
portland oregon
omaha nebraska
raleigh-durham, north carolina
st.paul minnesota
san antonio texas
austin texas
alright, anyone have any advice?
portland oregon
omaha nebraska
raleigh-durham, north carolina
st.paul minnesota
san antonio texas
austin texas
alright, anyone have any advice?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
inevitable
haven't been blogging in a bit. i've grown a little tired of reading what i'm writing, and some days it's all i can do just to come up with a facebook status update. (oh, woe is me, right?)
today, started ok. the weather was supposed to be nice and hot. very hot for this time of year. i had to do some errands in medford square, and hubby took the car so i rallied harlan together and we shuffled down to the bus stop. when we got to our stop, i noticed that the place we were going was closed until may 2nd (small toy store, but still, who does business like that any more?). i called hubby. no answer. called him again on his work phone, and his boss answered...strange...'is ernie there?'..no answer..."hello???"...still no answer, then click. they hung up.
again, strange. but i didn't think anything of it until i got two missed messages on my cell phone from "home"...my home, the one no one was supposed to be at.
crap. my stomach sank.
i knew immediately what had happened. but i hoped for the best.
i called home. hubby answered. 'hey, what are you doing home?'. hard swallow.
'just lost my job'...'i just don't know what we're going to do'.
crap, again.
we sort of knew it was coming...it was abrupt, still. but so it goes. people are bizarre and they have their ways. i know his boss reads my blog, so i won't give him the satisfaction of any further comments.
i told hubby to come down and meet up for pizza. (what else was there to do, right, i mean, it was absolutely balmy and beautiful outside) the both of us were still in shock. the fact that the loss of a job can be such a huge blow is something i've never been able to get used to. it's always bothered me intensely, even if i hated the job. i just didn't like the idea of 'failing' at anything. now, with a child, and a dog, and car payment, and lots of medical expenses...it's even more daunting. there's unemployment, but we live in the greater boston area, unemployment won't even be a drop in the bucket for us. i've always wanted to leave this area...but recently, i've made some really good friends here, and i was beginning to get used to (somewhat) the idea of maybe sticking around a bit longer. but, now. now, we must re think things.
i keep telling myself all the things i have to be thankful for. we're better off than most. right now, anyway. still, the pit in my stomach is there. fear (mixed with anger)...instability, and uncertainty. wondering when we'll be able to 'settle'...if ever.
stay positive. what else is there to do, right?
today, started ok. the weather was supposed to be nice and hot. very hot for this time of year. i had to do some errands in medford square, and hubby took the car so i rallied harlan together and we shuffled down to the bus stop. when we got to our stop, i noticed that the place we were going was closed until may 2nd (small toy store, but still, who does business like that any more?). i called hubby. no answer. called him again on his work phone, and his boss answered...strange...'is ernie there?'..no answer..."hello???"...still no answer, then click. they hung up.
again, strange. but i didn't think anything of it until i got two missed messages on my cell phone from "home"...my home, the one no one was supposed to be at.
crap. my stomach sank.
i knew immediately what had happened. but i hoped for the best.
i called home. hubby answered. 'hey, what are you doing home?'. hard swallow.
'just lost my job'...'i just don't know what we're going to do'.
crap, again.
we sort of knew it was coming...it was abrupt, still. but so it goes. people are bizarre and they have their ways. i know his boss reads my blog, so i won't give him the satisfaction of any further comments.
i told hubby to come down and meet up for pizza. (what else was there to do, right, i mean, it was absolutely balmy and beautiful outside) the both of us were still in shock. the fact that the loss of a job can be such a huge blow is something i've never been able to get used to. it's always bothered me intensely, even if i hated the job. i just didn't like the idea of 'failing' at anything. now, with a child, and a dog, and car payment, and lots of medical expenses...it's even more daunting. there's unemployment, but we live in the greater boston area, unemployment won't even be a drop in the bucket for us. i've always wanted to leave this area...but recently, i've made some really good friends here, and i was beginning to get used to (somewhat) the idea of maybe sticking around a bit longer. but, now. now, we must re think things.
i keep telling myself all the things i have to be thankful for. we're better off than most. right now, anyway. still, the pit in my stomach is there. fear (mixed with anger)...instability, and uncertainty. wondering when we'll be able to 'settle'...if ever.
stay positive. what else is there to do, right?
Monday, April 13, 2009
Thursday, April 02, 2009
insanity
einstein's definition of insanity was this:
doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
as previously mentioned, i'm on the weight loss wagon. an old, well worn wagon, on a long, bumpy, bitchy road, that usually ends with me laying in the mud, wondering why all of my clothes are a size 8 but i actually wear a size 12. it's a road most women throughout their lives are on. we gain, we lose, we gain, we lose. some of us get it together, but most of us fuel the weight loss industry with fervor and every last bit of our money and good sense goes right out the window.
at this point in my life, if i were healthy, and i had the financial means to buy great, new clothes in a size 12...i don't know if would ever lose weight. i like my round figure, even if it is out of fashion. but, here's the thing; i have no energy. my toddler watches way too much television because of my low energy. my bones seem to ache, and not from age, just from sedentary living and bad eating habits. and, i AM aging. i feel it, every day. i don't care what size i am, i just want to feel better.
so, i'm trying something different this time. slowly, diligently, one thing at a time. for the past 3 weeks, i've been working out, 20 minutes a day. no diet. i missed three days toward the end, but i'm back on track now. today, i start an eating plan. not a diet, but a way i would like to eat, from now on.
to boost me into this, i'm giving weight watchers one week of my time. and i'm going to follow it diligently.
here's the thing about weight watchers. i don't like the program. throughout my life, i've known SO many women on WW and here's the pattern...they go on, they lose a ton of weight, they go off, they gain it back, etc. i've seen WW in all of it's many incarnations. i know, it does seem to be a pattern with people no matter what program they're on. don't blame the program, right? but, honestly, i know the points system is meant to teach a way of eating and not to be a rule, but it's tedious, and i don't think it's meant for "happy" living. so, i'm not "joining" weight watchers, but for one week, i need a log, i NEED to be tedious about my eating. (and they do a one week free trial, bonus!)
**i am, by no means, mocking anyone on the WW program. people do what they need to do to make things work within themselves. and if it works for some, they should stick with what works.**
well. after that rant, i'm off to make sure my toddler isn't puking on the furniture...ahh, the joys of a stomach virus. there's at least one person in this house losing weight.
and now, a song i've recently fallen totally in love with:
Furr - Blitzen Trapper
doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
as previously mentioned, i'm on the weight loss wagon. an old, well worn wagon, on a long, bumpy, bitchy road, that usually ends with me laying in the mud, wondering why all of my clothes are a size 8 but i actually wear a size 12. it's a road most women throughout their lives are on. we gain, we lose, we gain, we lose. some of us get it together, but most of us fuel the weight loss industry with fervor and every last bit of our money and good sense goes right out the window.
at this point in my life, if i were healthy, and i had the financial means to buy great, new clothes in a size 12...i don't know if would ever lose weight. i like my round figure, even if it is out of fashion. but, here's the thing; i have no energy. my toddler watches way too much television because of my low energy. my bones seem to ache, and not from age, just from sedentary living and bad eating habits. and, i AM aging. i feel it, every day. i don't care what size i am, i just want to feel better.
so, i'm trying something different this time. slowly, diligently, one thing at a time. for the past 3 weeks, i've been working out, 20 minutes a day. no diet. i missed three days toward the end, but i'm back on track now. today, i start an eating plan. not a diet, but a way i would like to eat, from now on.
to boost me into this, i'm giving weight watchers one week of my time. and i'm going to follow it diligently.
here's the thing about weight watchers. i don't like the program. throughout my life, i've known SO many women on WW and here's the pattern...they go on, they lose a ton of weight, they go off, they gain it back, etc. i've seen WW in all of it's many incarnations. i know, it does seem to be a pattern with people no matter what program they're on. don't blame the program, right? but, honestly, i know the points system is meant to teach a way of eating and not to be a rule, but it's tedious, and i don't think it's meant for "happy" living. so, i'm not "joining" weight watchers, but for one week, i need a log, i NEED to be tedious about my eating. (and they do a one week free trial, bonus!)
**i am, by no means, mocking anyone on the WW program. people do what they need to do to make things work within themselves. and if it works for some, they should stick with what works.**
well. after that rant, i'm off to make sure my toddler isn't puking on the furniture...ahh, the joys of a stomach virus. there's at least one person in this house losing weight.
and now, a song i've recently fallen totally in love with:
Furr - Blitzen Trapper
Sunday, March 22, 2009
fear leaving the body...day 12 of jillian michael's 30 day shred
here's the thing about doing the same 20 minute workout every day for 10 days (now on day 12)...it is goddamn boring. it's short term, yes, but during this short term, it's getting tedious (actually, it was tedious 6 days ago).
it's a solid workout, a good workout. tried and true favorites like crunches, squats, push ups, jumping jacks...nothing fancy, nothing fashionable. you feel it in the end, and for days after. and jillian michaels? yeah, she's annoying, and not necessarily the most attractive bird to look at (in fact, i'm realizing more and more how much she looks like a tiny man)...but she's motivating, and i take comfort in the fact that she used to be a fatty.
no weight loss to speak of, but my pants are beginning to not fit in odd places. no diet change, so wasn't really expecting a weight loss, but sticking to the same workout, day in and day out...it's a job. comparable, i would say, to having a job sorting rubber rings, or inspecting bread in a can.
even more fascinating than doing the workout is writing about it. so, maybe this won't be a weight loss blog. because you know what, they suck. and i don't know if i have the literary where-with-all to make it interesting.
ttfn.
off we go.
it's a solid workout, a good workout. tried and true favorites like crunches, squats, push ups, jumping jacks...nothing fancy, nothing fashionable. you feel it in the end, and for days after. and jillian michaels? yeah, she's annoying, and not necessarily the most attractive bird to look at (in fact, i'm realizing more and more how much she looks like a tiny man)...but she's motivating, and i take comfort in the fact that she used to be a fatty.
no weight loss to speak of, but my pants are beginning to not fit in odd places. no diet change, so wasn't really expecting a weight loss, but sticking to the same workout, day in and day out...it's a job. comparable, i would say, to having a job sorting rubber rings, or inspecting bread in a can.
even more fascinating than doing the workout is writing about it. so, maybe this won't be a weight loss blog. because you know what, they suck. and i don't know if i have the literary where-with-all to make it interesting.
ttfn.
off we go.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
kissing the lipless
here i am, it was bound to happen. i knew eventually i would stop prattling on about nothing and this blog would become yet another "weight loss" blog. i'm giving up.
and turning over a new leaf. or something like that. i would love to be the flippant, too cool to work out, too cool to talk about it, type...i'd love to drink all night long, eat fried food and still look good in my size eights (oh, to be 23 again)...but i'm not. i'm getting old, i need boundaries, i need regiments, i need to document.
i had a baby, i'm in my thirties, i'm 35 pounds overweight. i love my curves, so don't be hatin', but i don't have the money to buy a new wardrobe, so i have to work it out.
or, work it off. i've enlisted the help of a close friend. she's acting as my 'life coach' of sorts. she's good at this sort of thing, and our brains seem to work in similar patterns. she's an organized motivator, and not in a pushy, martha stewart sort of way, but more like 'this is me, this is how i roll, take it or leave it'.
first goal. no weight loss. in 20 days, i work out for 20 minutes a day (i chose to use the jillian michael's 30 day shred work out, because i tried it before, and i liked it). if weight loss comes, it comes, but that's not my goal for the next few weeks. i'm working on simple perseverance. strengthening of will.
she's also set up daily goals for me to meet, which she emails to me daily. it's day two, and my goal for the day was every time the clock hits :20, i have to get up and dance for one minute, no matter where i am. i have to do this 10 times...so, i can skip dancing if i'm driving in my car, etc.
at first i thought...goofy? but i love to dance, and soon realized the most fun for me would be had by picking out which songs i was going to put on while i danced. the strange stares from my toddler make it a bit harder (he seems to know somethings up).
but, still, i've finished two 'dance sessions' already, and i'm excited. i've even found it hard to stop dancing when the minute is up, i feel like i have to finish the song out. (and yeah, there will be some gwen stefani coming out of my speakers today, maybe even some fergie..'wanta go down like london, london, london'..hehe)
it also makes me really want to go out dancing at zuzu's soulalujah again, because honestly, how bad can life be when you're dancing with wild abandon to soul music from the 60's.
here we go...
and turning over a new leaf. or something like that. i would love to be the flippant, too cool to work out, too cool to talk about it, type...i'd love to drink all night long, eat fried food and still look good in my size eights (oh, to be 23 again)...but i'm not. i'm getting old, i need boundaries, i need regiments, i need to document.
i had a baby, i'm in my thirties, i'm 35 pounds overweight. i love my curves, so don't be hatin', but i don't have the money to buy a new wardrobe, so i have to work it out.
or, work it off. i've enlisted the help of a close friend. she's acting as my 'life coach' of sorts. she's good at this sort of thing, and our brains seem to work in similar patterns. she's an organized motivator, and not in a pushy, martha stewart sort of way, but more like 'this is me, this is how i roll, take it or leave it'.
first goal. no weight loss. in 20 days, i work out for 20 minutes a day (i chose to use the jillian michael's 30 day shred work out, because i tried it before, and i liked it). if weight loss comes, it comes, but that's not my goal for the next few weeks. i'm working on simple perseverance. strengthening of will.
she's also set up daily goals for me to meet, which she emails to me daily. it's day two, and my goal for the day was every time the clock hits :20, i have to get up and dance for one minute, no matter where i am. i have to do this 10 times...so, i can skip dancing if i'm driving in my car, etc.
at first i thought...goofy? but i love to dance, and soon realized the most fun for me would be had by picking out which songs i was going to put on while i danced. the strange stares from my toddler make it a bit harder (he seems to know somethings up).
but, still, i've finished two 'dance sessions' already, and i'm excited. i've even found it hard to stop dancing when the minute is up, i feel like i have to finish the song out. (and yeah, there will be some gwen stefani coming out of my speakers today, maybe even some fergie..'wanta go down like london, london, london'..hehe)
it also makes me really want to go out dancing at zuzu's soulalujah again, because honestly, how bad can life be when you're dancing with wild abandon to soul music from the 60's.
here we go...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
another show, another dollar
need to see more live music...
elvis perkins in dearland
april 22, brattle theater, 9pm, 15$
any takers?
While You Were Sleeping - Elvis Perkins
just lovely.
elvis perkins in dearland
april 22, brattle theater, 9pm, 15$
any takers?
While You Were Sleeping - Elvis Perkins
just lovely.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
my life as a series of facebook status updates
April Watkins-Doeg....
...needs a new travel mug.
* i really do, it thoroughly annoyed me this morning while taking my husband to work, that there was a giant, wonderful, fresh pot of coffee on our counter that i didn't have time to drink nor did i have anything 'mobile' to put it in to take with me. solution; i stopped at dunkin donuts, where the coffee was so gd hot that i couldn't drink it until i got home. ironic, yes. irritating, double yes.
...just might clean her house.
* i did, i cleaned my house so i wouldn't look like a completely inept housemum to the rest of my mom friends when i hosted the weekly stitch and bitch. i really really cleaned the three rooms of my house that everyone would see, the rest, well, not clean so much.
...is once again super pissed about the snow and poop in her backyard.
* yep, even after a HUGE fight with the hubs over cleaning up the massive amount of poop in the back yard before it snows because our precious child can not play in the snow in his own backyard for fear of "poop smear"...our yard, was once again covered in poop during the early spring snowstorm this past week. i feel like a lazy, white trash troll.
...is drowning her winter blahs in contruction paper daisy chains.
* the snow is lovely, but i'm more than ready for it to go away. i think the real bitter pill to swallow with this week's snowstorm was the day before it snowed, it was 50 degrees outside and we were at the playground in our jackets as if spring was actually here. oh, winter you butterfaced bitch. i'm pretty sure even my two year old is sick of the snow at this point. needless to say, the only decoration besides balloons as harlan's 2 year birthday party this saturday will be lots of construction paper daisy chains forged out of absolute boredom.
i love facebook. it's always there for me when i need some serious self love. i do wish i were a bit less addicted, but hey, everyone has a few vices, right?
...needs a new travel mug.
* i really do, it thoroughly annoyed me this morning while taking my husband to work, that there was a giant, wonderful, fresh pot of coffee on our counter that i didn't have time to drink nor did i have anything 'mobile' to put it in to take with me. solution; i stopped at dunkin donuts, where the coffee was so gd hot that i couldn't drink it until i got home. ironic, yes. irritating, double yes.
...just might clean her house.
* i did, i cleaned my house so i wouldn't look like a completely inept housemum to the rest of my mom friends when i hosted the weekly stitch and bitch. i really really cleaned the three rooms of my house that everyone would see, the rest, well, not clean so much.
...is once again super pissed about the snow and poop in her backyard.
* yep, even after a HUGE fight with the hubs over cleaning up the massive amount of poop in the back yard before it snows because our precious child can not play in the snow in his own backyard for fear of "poop smear"...our yard, was once again covered in poop during the early spring snowstorm this past week. i feel like a lazy, white trash troll.
...is drowning her winter blahs in contruction paper daisy chains.
* the snow is lovely, but i'm more than ready for it to go away. i think the real bitter pill to swallow with this week's snowstorm was the day before it snowed, it was 50 degrees outside and we were at the playground in our jackets as if spring was actually here. oh, winter you butterfaced bitch. i'm pretty sure even my two year old is sick of the snow at this point. needless to say, the only decoration besides balloons as harlan's 2 year birthday party this saturday will be lots of construction paper daisy chains forged out of absolute boredom.
i love facebook. it's always there for me when i need some serious self love. i do wish i were a bit less addicted, but hey, everyone has a few vices, right?
Friday, February 27, 2009
things i miss
i miss my skinny jeans...i miss dancing at zuzu's soulelujah...i miss my wild abandon...i miss my friends that have moved away...i miss bbq's in the back yard...i miss montreal...i miss what my shoulders feel like without this weight on them...i miss the freckles that have faded for wrinkles...i miss sitting on the back porch...i miss napping in the grass in union square park...i miss flip flops...i miss tank tops and what my arms used to look like...i miss the tennessee heat and humidity...i miss dragon park...i miss roaming through record stores aimlessly...i miss bubble.pop.electric...i miss road trips...i miss robbie's dad's penthouse...i miss coney island...i miss warm sand...i miss a good bagel...i miss a lot.
many of these things will be back, i'll see them again...but some...they'll never be back. i've noticed lately i've been searching for new things to replace them. i feel downtrodden but fortunate.
i'm putting a lot of faith in this summer.
something as simple as not having to feel a chill when i walk outside may be enough to cure me.
don't dare be hatin', i really like this song, i really do.
Crack A Bottle - Eminem, Dr. Dre, 50 Cent
many of these things will be back, i'll see them again...but some...they'll never be back. i've noticed lately i've been searching for new things to replace them. i feel downtrodden but fortunate.
i'm putting a lot of faith in this summer.
something as simple as not having to feel a chill when i walk outside may be enough to cure me.
don't dare be hatin', i really like this song, i really do.
Crack A Bottle - Eminem, Dr. Dre, 50 Cent
Friday, February 20, 2009
i still kinda love you zach condon
new beirut album!!! double cd!! two totally different sounds, two totally different albums. muy bueno!!
Beirut - March of the Zapotec and Realpeople Holland
Friday, February 13, 2009
can the swedes get any more adorable??
the powerful innocence in their voices almost rips my heart out. not to mention it's just a great fleet foxes song to begin with. i love the swedish.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
norway's finest
a fairly straight forward cover, but it's by one of my favorite indie guys (ac newman or new pornographers fame) and it makes me happy, none the less.
AC Newman - Take On Me.mp3 -
AC Newman - Take On Me.mp3 -
didn't i just blog?
things i've been doing instead of blogging
1. knitting my balls off: christmas time was a marathon knitting month for me, and after that i decided that i would actually like to start taking it seriously and knitting more than scarves and hats. i've learned lots of new skills and even accomplished writing out my first pattern. when i think of all there is to learn, i still get overwhelmed, but will approach it with zen...when you know all there is to know about everything, there's no longer reason to live.
2. tickling the living daylights out of my two year old: never did i imagine that i would spend almost fully half of my days in tickle fights with a toddler.
3. alternately freaking out about the economy and not caring about the economy: i'm really sick of hearing about it, especially since i live in a city where when people go on a budget it means they may have to buy their bugaboo stroller used and their teenagers may have to settle for a crappy lexus instead of a bmw for their sweet 16.
4. consuming way too much caffeine
5. facebook : i hate you! (just kidding, you know i love you baby)
6. continuing to be disgusted by nip/tuck and not being able to stop watching it.
7. drinking the shit out of some mich ultra amber (my new diet drink)
8. thinking the media should leave michael phelps alone and get the fuck over it.
9. thinking the media should leave christian bale alone and get the fuck over it.
10. continuing to be super happy i voted for obama and disliking most republicans.
add to that a copious amount of toddler playdates; being sick, being healthy, being sick again (and again); boohoo-ing about my ever growing ass; complaining about the winter and wishing for spring; sex with the hubs; obsessing over japan; crushing on jon stewart; lots of laying around in my pajamas; listening to that fleet foxes album over and over again; and constantly searching for that pot at the end of the rainbow when it's right in front my face.
1. knitting my balls off: christmas time was a marathon knitting month for me, and after that i decided that i would actually like to start taking it seriously and knitting more than scarves and hats. i've learned lots of new skills and even accomplished writing out my first pattern. when i think of all there is to learn, i still get overwhelmed, but will approach it with zen...when you know all there is to know about everything, there's no longer reason to live.
2. tickling the living daylights out of my two year old: never did i imagine that i would spend almost fully half of my days in tickle fights with a toddler.
3. alternately freaking out about the economy and not caring about the economy: i'm really sick of hearing about it, especially since i live in a city where when people go on a budget it means they may have to buy their bugaboo stroller used and their teenagers may have to settle for a crappy lexus instead of a bmw for their sweet 16.
4. consuming way too much caffeine
5. facebook : i hate you! (just kidding, you know i love you baby)
6. continuing to be disgusted by nip/tuck and not being able to stop watching it.
7. drinking the shit out of some mich ultra amber (my new diet drink)
8. thinking the media should leave michael phelps alone and get the fuck over it.
9. thinking the media should leave christian bale alone and get the fuck over it.
10. continuing to be super happy i voted for obama and disliking most republicans.
add to that a copious amount of toddler playdates; being sick, being healthy, being sick again (and again); boohoo-ing about my ever growing ass; complaining about the winter and wishing for spring; sex with the hubs; obsessing over japan; crushing on jon stewart; lots of laying around in my pajamas; listening to that fleet foxes album over and over again; and constantly searching for that pot at the end of the rainbow when it's right in front my face.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
oh snow and boredom
don't feel like posting. here's a song.
Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? - She and Him
i don't care much for zooey deschanel as an actress. honestly, i think her eyes are dead on screen and she annoys the hell out of me. BUT, as an indie rock darling, she's cute, and her voice is cute, and her pop songs are good, and i like her.
like this song, feels like summer, and the beach. and i miss being warm.
Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? - She and Him
i don't care much for zooey deschanel as an actress. honestly, i think her eyes are dead on screen and she annoys the hell out of me. BUT, as an indie rock darling, she's cute, and her voice is cute, and her pop songs are good, and i like her.
like this song, feels like summer, and the beach. and i miss being warm.
Friday, January 02, 2009
i resolve...
i typed in the words 'i resolve' to google and here are some of my favorites:
"Be more tolerant of climate change naysayers" - i'm assuming this one was written by a weatherman. or maybe al gore.
"Clip my toenails once a month, whether they need it or not" - resolutions about simple hygiene make me wonder about the social norms inside this persons head.
"To Make Resolutions for Those Who Especially Need Them" - wow. i could go on and on about the ethics of this, but it sounds like too much fun. just may be my next post.
"to stop being a phoney and typing “LOL” when I didn’t really “laugh out loud”" - thank you. i knew you weren't laughing out loud.
"to visit taco trucks" - ok then.
"I resolve to give up all candy for the year 2009" - why would you set yourself up for failure??
"not make any more new years resolutions"- yeah, real original there cranky pants, just because you can't keep yours, don't disparage the rest of us.
"Be more tolerant of climate change naysayers" - i'm assuming this one was written by a weatherman. or maybe al gore.
"Clip my toenails once a month, whether they need it or not" - resolutions about simple hygiene make me wonder about the social norms inside this persons head.
"To Make Resolutions for Those Who Especially Need Them" - wow. i could go on and on about the ethics of this, but it sounds like too much fun. just may be my next post.
"to stop being a phoney and typing “LOL” when I didn’t really “laugh out loud”" - thank you. i knew you weren't laughing out loud.
"to visit taco trucks" - ok then.
"I resolve to give up all candy for the year 2009" - why would you set yourself up for failure??
"not make any more new years resolutions"- yeah, real original there cranky pants, just because you can't keep yours, don't disparage the rest of us.
i do not resolve...
every year i make resolutions, and like most, i don't really bother to keep them, usually. but, the ritual of making resolutions (just like my absolute love of making lists) is extremely satisfying. so, every year, i diligently make my list, and i diligently break my list in a few months. my faithful standbys; lose weight, get healthy, live for the day, stop wasting time, read more, create more, speak french. this year, i say every year, this year will be different. but it never is, as is human nature. predictably irrational.
without further ado, my list of resolutions for 2009. things i will NOT do, instead of things i will do. who knows, maybe this will be my year.
1. i will continue to not wear crocs.
2. i will not drink my daily calorie intake in one sitting every evening.
3. i will not continue to worry about my weight.
4. i will not knit another wash cloth or scarf. (so over it)
5. i will not spend a hundred dollars (or more) during every trip to ikea.
6. i will not throw out twenty dollars worth of groceries every week.
7. i will not let the economic downturn and our horrible financial situation consume me.
8. i will not spend 2-3 combined hours on facebook every day. (yeah, i know)
9. i will not say 'retarded' to describe everything. (blagh)
10. i will not take for granted my husband, my child or my lot in life.
i can handle this.
resolutions, i got it.
without further ado, my list of resolutions for 2009. things i will NOT do, instead of things i will do. who knows, maybe this will be my year.
1. i will continue to not wear crocs.
2. i will not drink my daily calorie intake in one sitting every evening.
3. i will not continue to worry about my weight.
4. i will not knit another wash cloth or scarf. (so over it)
5. i will not spend a hundred dollars (or more) during every trip to ikea.
6. i will not throw out twenty dollars worth of groceries every week.
7. i will not let the economic downturn and our horrible financial situation consume me.
8. i will not spend 2-3 combined hours on facebook every day. (yeah, i know)
9. i will not say 'retarded' to describe everything. (blagh)
10. i will not take for granted my husband, my child or my lot in life.
i can handle this.
resolutions, i got it.
Friday, December 19, 2008
best hot chocolate ever
2 tbsp ghiradelli double chocolate powder
1/2 tbsp dagoba xocolatl hot chocolate mix
1 shot of kahlua (or more to taste)
12 oz milk
big ass mug
pour kahlua into bottom of mug. heat milk, mix in chocolate powder, stir. when warm enough, pour in glass. drink. melt. yum.
1/2 tbsp dagoba xocolatl hot chocolate mix
1 shot of kahlua (or more to taste)
12 oz milk
big ass mug
pour kahlua into bottom of mug. heat milk, mix in chocolate powder, stir. when warm enough, pour in glass. drink. melt. yum.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
not cool virus, not cool
i've had a cold since thursday of last week. it seems to, just today, have morphed into something nastier than i thought it was. i feel worse today, than i did the day before, if that's possible. could i have caught two strains of the cold virus at once?
with as many children as i'm exposed to, i wouldn't be surprised. children are nasty little germ carrying pods, with constantly runny noses and stinky bums (and i include my own in that group). there also seems to be a bit more stress this time of year than usual (what with christmas crowds, the dying economy, and random scam artists stealing millions upon millions of everyone's money...no, not the american auto industry, that other guy)...so, i'm sure we're all less 'immune' than we would normally be to all the ick that's out there.
add to my failing immune system, the fact that there's a lovely 'wintry' mix outside right now. to all of you not fortunatate enough to live in the northeast, a 'wintry' mix is not a cool mix cd made for you by an old boyfriend. it's an irritating mix of ice, snow, and rain combined with bitter cold and bad attitude. also add in my toddler who is in the wicked evil mood today, which i just realized last night, is due to some serious teething (always with the teething, man will i be happy when this kid gets all his goddamn teeth in). it's mostly the television that keeps him calm...it's the strangest thing. this morning alone, we've read books, eaten breakfast, and finger/water/brush painted some christmas cards. that all took about a half hour, and it was full of whining and tantrums and crankiness (and harlan wasn't too happy either..ba da bumbum). so, now he's plopped down in front of the television like i cute little zombie (don't worry, i'm not the worst mother, i only let him watch pbs).
i figure we'll go back and forth between television, tantrums, crafts and eating today. if i can last until nap time, we'll be stellar.
breathe in, breathe out.
in other news, here's my new favorite band:
fleet foxes
White Winter Hymnal from Grandchildren on Vimeo.
with as many children as i'm exposed to, i wouldn't be surprised. children are nasty little germ carrying pods, with constantly runny noses and stinky bums (and i include my own in that group). there also seems to be a bit more stress this time of year than usual (what with christmas crowds, the dying economy, and random scam artists stealing millions upon millions of everyone's money...no, not the american auto industry, that other guy)...so, i'm sure we're all less 'immune' than we would normally be to all the ick that's out there.
add to my failing immune system, the fact that there's a lovely 'wintry' mix outside right now. to all of you not fortunatate enough to live in the northeast, a 'wintry' mix is not a cool mix cd made for you by an old boyfriend. it's an irritating mix of ice, snow, and rain combined with bitter cold and bad attitude. also add in my toddler who is in the wicked evil mood today, which i just realized last night, is due to some serious teething (always with the teething, man will i be happy when this kid gets all his goddamn teeth in). it's mostly the television that keeps him calm...it's the strangest thing. this morning alone, we've read books, eaten breakfast, and finger/water/brush painted some christmas cards. that all took about a half hour, and it was full of whining and tantrums and crankiness (and harlan wasn't too happy either..ba da bumbum). so, now he's plopped down in front of the television like i cute little zombie (don't worry, i'm not the worst mother, i only let him watch pbs).
i figure we'll go back and forth between television, tantrums, crafts and eating today. if i can last until nap time, we'll be stellar.
breathe in, breathe out.
in other news, here's my new favorite band:
fleet foxes
White Winter Hymnal from Grandchildren on Vimeo.
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