miss edith

(click on pics)
i am, and have been, hugely a fan of miss edith piaf (madame lamboukas). her music not only inspires me, if i can be so cliche, but also makes me the happiest girl on the train when i pipe her voice into my ears during my commute. it's like eating soft white cheese with honey (my new favorite treat)...and when in paris, i had to find her.
my visit to pere lachaise cemetary was a surreal one...but i didn't expect it to be anything but surreal. firstly, it's amazingly huge. i had no idea...but should have, what with all of the amazing minds and voices buried on those sacred grounds. i thought that i would have no problem finding her grave. So, as soon as i came up from the train station, i went to the nearest florist, bought a pink rose and started aimlessly walking into the great cemetary. after about a half hour of wandering around the beautifully creepy crypts, i gave up, and went to the little man at the gate to buy a map. i found, with the map, that i was no less than a mile away from her. in my boots (which are such a bad idea on cobble stone...poor ankles), i walked and climbed for another hour, wandering in and out of the artistic crypts, which seemed more like walking through a quiet, lovely neighborhood, than a graveyard. trees lines the cobblestone streets between the crypts, most were the size of large closets, complete with locked iron worked doors and incredible stained glass windows.
walking into the newer graves, i wondered what hers would look like, how beautiful would hers be...the little bird of paris that moved the world with her voice? of course, it didn't come as much of a suprise that when i did find her grave, it was rather plain, by pere lachaise standards. i wasn't the only one looking for her, there were at least three other people roaming around the same area when i finally came across her. so, i waited, i let them have their time...and then i went up and lay down my rose, sat down and said a small prayer in french, with the few words that i know (because maybe thats what she would have wanted), and walked away.
i couldn't leave the cemetary without, of course, paying some respect to others that were buried there...so i went off to find oscar wilde and marcel proust. the oscar wilde grave/monument was so odd, being covered tip to top in lipstick. yes, lipstick. mostly kisses, but also handwritten notes in lipstick. i wonder who started this trend. of course, the penis was missing from the statue..i wonder how much that's selling for on ebay.
proust grave was very average, i'm sure he would have wanted nothing grand.

the wonderful thing to see, was not the graves of the famed, but the graves of others. i came across many graves that were statues of the actual people, laying on top of the grave, just as they were in the coffin itself. this was my favorite, since they found it fit to bury him with his cane, tophat and spats....notice, if you will, where the bronze has been worn down on the picture...crotch, shoes, mouth. bizarre.
my visit was time well spent, and more beautiful than any of the museums i went to (except for maybe the rodin museum, but that's another day). the cemetary was definitely an amazingly beautiful and ceremonial waste of space, comfort for the living, not the dead.

after my search among the dead, i went to visit her birthplace...apparently on the steps of the rue de belleville in belleville (which is today, kind of like the parisian chinatown). it's not really marked, except for a plaque commemorating the fact that she was born here on the steps, in abject poverty, and there are no signs (i was told there is a small museum in her honor a few streets away, but it's by appointment only, and i just didn't have the time). it's funny, how we search out these things...it's not like you're going to find any great insight from visiting a persons birthplace, or their grave for that matter...but, there's something that feels good about taking the time and giving some respect to a life that means so much to you now.

carousel at sacre coeur 

carousel in montmartre, bottom of the hill at the sacre coeur (the one from amelie...:-) 

carousel la belle epoque 

many of the carousels were kept up supremely, but i found a few that were very old and quite falling down...as this one was, all beautiful and handpainted, filled with irritated looking pigs and cows as well as the usual horse and carriage. i was unable to get more pictures, as they had just closed the gate when i arrived.  

carousels

other than the usual lovely things about paris, (sitting alone in cafe's drinking kir and slirping up fromage blanc avec miel, looking straight up the middle of the eiffel tower, eating a camembert baguette and drinking white wine in the rodin sculpture garden, kindly dropping a euro or two to any street accordianiste...etc., etc..), there also happen to be quite a few carousels, which, of course make the city even more photogenic than it already is. when i first arrived in paris, my first thought was to search out all of the carousels in paris, and start a photographic tour of them...but i simply didn't have time (and was often distracted by the 'wine drinking cafe sitting' part of me).
here are the few that i found...and a few that i rode. (thank you mr.doeg for indulging me in my little infatuation).

saturday, saturday, saturday!!

a quick break in the paris pics...there are three great shows this saturday, the 15th, that i would like to recommend highly. first, gogol bordello is playing at the roxy, an early show (6pm)...anyone who has seen them knows that this isn't one to miss. after that, at around 9pm, there is an AMAZING show taking place at tt the bears...the beat circus, humanwine, guignol and alec k redfearn and the eyesores...please please come out and support these truly incredible and talented bands...you won't be disappointed, and if you are, please come see me, and i will rightly take my shoe off and smack it upside your head.
the last show is one that i will miss, unfortunately, i can't be several places at once (goddamn MIT, get to work on that one!)...the edith piaf performance band, Ziaf, will be playing a show at the lizard lounge. if you're in the mood for french chanson, this will be a good one.

my money will be on the beat circus, and i suggest everyone join in.

ta.

our last night in paris...

(click on pics for larger versions)
our last night in paris was probably one of the best..but isn't that always the way. (believe me, i almost 'lost' my passport so as to stay a bit longer).
on this night, our last night, we went for fondue, then rambled about the streets for a bar with live music. i had noticed in my guide book that there was a cave like bar where bands played called 'le caveau des oubliettes' ('dungeon cave')...off we went, we could not miss this.
we found the bar, and wound our way down the tiny stone staircase into a series of tiny cellars connected by small rounded doorways. the larger of the rooms, was overflowing with people, and we could hear what sounded like gypsy jazz coming out of the room...the next smaller room was a bar, and a television broadcasting the band that was playing in the room we couldn't get into. we sat down, ordered some drinks, and watched the monitor. suddenly, we realized that the guy on stage playing his gypsy guitar must have been the re incarnation of django reinhardt. seriously, he was amazing, and his protege who played next to him, was also unbelievable. try as we may, we could not fit in the room with the band amongst all of the french hipsters, so we still sat and waited for a break in the crowd. after a while, the band took a break and came to the bar to get drinks. we asked if there would another set, and they said to wait a half hour. ernie made his way into the room (cellar) with the stage and we took our spots. the cave was full of smoke, as there was no ventilation and the nearly everyone in france smokes. i noticed that there were chains and neck braces hanging from the ceiling...i'm assuming that these were originally in the 'dungeon' and the owners thought it might be kitchy to leave them there. only, the thought that people probably at some point in history, were left hanging down in this hole to die, was not a settling one.
finally the band came back to take the stage (two classical guitars and upright bass)...as they started into the next song, i thought ernie's head might actually explode, the guitarist was incredible!!! it's a bit dramatic to say that his fingers were actually smoking, but they were...(mostly due to the fact that even as fast as he played, his cigarette stayed perfectly between his fingers, ashes flying).
at the end of the evening (early morning, as it was going on 2am) a lady came up to sing some gypsy songs with the band in french (of course) and the room erupted in dancing and singing.
note of warning: the metro stops running at 1230am and catching a taxi in paris at 2am on a saturday night is impossible. we were on the left bank, and our hotel was on the right bank, way up on the hill in montmartre...the thought of walking the entire way made us queasy. finally, we were able to beg a cabbie that was offshift to take us home. merci beaucoup, monsiuer, you saved our night (and maybe our marriage, since our tempers were beginning to get heated).
at the hotel in our beds, my head filled with french words and django guitar, i mostly stayed awake until we got up to catch our flight. i'm completely taken with that city...now if i could only learn to roll my 'r's properly, i would be a peach.

post script: the name of the band we were watching was "moreno & marina".

J'ai deux amours

the month of april in my blog, will now be filled with pictures from my recent trip to france and sweden. i am sufficiently over my jet lag (with a nice, long 20 hour nap last night and part of this morning.)
there was no time to blog in paris, it didn't seem to be important to me at the time. so, here are the highlights.
more to come...

le francais

on our way to sweden and france...you would think, at almost 31 years old, i would have taken some time to learn a bit of either language..but non, i did not.
here are some phrases i found that might be useful though...i plan to use them often:

"are you drunk?"
Est-ce que vous etes ivre?

"as a child, was your cradle rocked too close to the wall?"
On t'a berce trop pres du mur?

"my god, you're children are ugly!"
Mon Dieu, que vos enfants sont laids!

"how many of your customers have died?"
combien de vos clients sont morts?

"your frog has eaten my lunch!"
Votre grenouille a mange mon dejeuner!

"would you stop spitting on me while you're talking!?"
Voulez-vous cesser de me cracher dessus pendant que vous parlez!?

i'm sure i'll do just fine with the french...i mean, what are they going to do, riot in the streets??...
um...

god rest...1929-2006

museum of science, boston

another science museum exhibit...apparently, this is what ernie and i look like when our faces are perfectly blended together. i'm holding out some hope for our children. 

a saturday at the science museum, watching lightening exhibits and trying to figure out the universe (and why people continue to try and get mobius strip tattoos, when they just look end up looking flat)... 

bought it for a friend...

i have a close friend who will be visiting the great country of africa this summer for a few months to study. i decided that i would buy her a tiny little present to get her in the mood for the trip, so off to the music store i went to look for the perfect african music compilation. as many know, the music of mali is all the rage these days, being constantly played on npr and the like...which is no suprise, because most of it is just wonderful. like most music stores, the selection of world music at the particular music shop that i chose was, 'slim' to say the least. but, only being a 'world music novice', myself, i suppose it wasn't really so bad. i had found the appropriate comp on the appropriate (and respected) world music label, then i noticed this quote written on the back of one of the cd's i had picked up: "The Motherland's modern day answer to John Lee Hooker." of course, i had to buy it, sound unheard.
it was the album "niafunke" by ali farka toure.
somehow, in my music travels, i had missed this amazing artist. i had no idea how amazing he was until i listened to the album when i got home (yes, it was a gift, and i opened it, shame on me...but i figured i would buy it myself if it was any good...and, how could i, in good conscience, give an album without first listening to it).
'african blues'...that's the label they've given it (the collective, musical 'they'). it's something all together different than what you might imagine that sounding like though. it's dark, and light, exotic and so heated and emotional...after i listen to the album, i almost feel like i should shower the desert dirt out of my hair.

when i went up to pay for the album, the lady at the counter told me that he had just passed away, the day before. what an odd time for me to discover his music, i thought. i would recommend that everyone take a listen to him at some point in your life, if you're not one of the many who already knew who he was. maybe you're not so much in the mood for malian blues at this point, but at some point, you really should. really.

oh the holidays

i've never been much into regular holidays, growing up not celebrating them helped with my indifference. but, odd holidays, are something different. my thought, everyone should pick a holiday, make a card, and send it to a friend. they'll be so happy to have something to celebrate on an otherwise random (and possibly dreary) march day.
March 1 is . . . . . National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day
March 2 is . . . . . Old Stuff Day
March 3 is . . . . . I Want You To Be Happy Day, Peach Blossom Day and National Anthem Day
March 4 is . . . . . Holy Experiment Day
March 5 is . . . . . Multiple Personalities Day
March 6 is . . . . . National Frozen Food Day
March 7 is . . . . . National Crown Roast Of Pork Day
March 8 is . . . . . Be Nasty Day
March 9 is . . . . . Panic Day
March 10 is . . . . Festival Of Life In The Cracks Day
March 11 is . . . . Johnny Appleseed Day and Worship of Tools Day
March 12 is . . . . Alfred Hitchcock Day
March 13 is . . . . Jewel Day
March 14 is . . . . National Potato Chip Day
March 15 is . . . . Buzzard's Day and Everything You Think Is Wrong Day
March 16 is . . . . Everything You Do Is Right Day
March 17 is . . . . Submarine Day
March 18 is . . . . Supreme Sacrifice Day
March 19 is . . . . Poultry Day
March 20 is . . . . Proposal Day and Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions Day
March 21 is . . . . Fragrance Day
March 22 is . . . . National Goof-off Day
March 23 is . . . . National Organize Your Home Office Day and National Chip and Dip Day
March 24 is . . . . National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
March 25 is . . . . Pecan Day and Waffle Day
March 26 is . . . . Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and Spinach Festival Day
March 27 is . . . . National "Joe" Day More Info on National "Joe" Day
March 28 is . . . . Something On A Stick Day
March 29 is . . . . Festival Of Smoke and Mirrors Day
March 30 is . . . . I Am In Control Day
March 31 is . . . . Bunsen Burner Day and National Clams On The Half Shell Day

taken from here.

life in the country...

back from tennessee, memphis to defeated in one swoop (for those of you who don't know, the town i grew up in is called, 'defeated creek', or just 'defeated' for short, or 'hogtown' if you're from the area...s'wonderful way to begin a childhood).
just to begin where i left off in memphis, i did end up going to the stax museum, and yes, i did end up eating the fried biscuits...and honestly, i can't say which one was better. i've been trying to find a way to best describe the fried biscuits, but there really aren't words for them. if you've ever had buttermilk biscuits, you know they're already damn good, so to take these little slices of wonderful and deep fry them, cover them in powdered sugar and serve them with chocolate sauce and honey was something to be cherished (but, i'm afraid, only tried once, as afterwards, i thought i might actually die). it seems, somehow, over the years, southerners have taken the stereotype that they can 'deep fry anything' as a challenge, we actually visited a bar that not only served deep fried moon pies, but battered and deep fried candy bars, each and every flavor you might ever want...it was really all i could do to keep from ordering the deep fried reeses peanut butter cups, but i thought better of myself. after our lunch experience we headed over to the stax museum of soul, or soulsville usa, on the corner of mclemore (and, i might add, not the best of neighborhoods, just as the waitress had warned), but an AMAZING museum. i think i might have lost my head if we had missed this one. they wouldn't let you take pics in the museum (in fact, they make you check your camera at the door), so here are some shots of my precious
chotchkiis, purchased in their lovely giftshop.
after the museum, the only thing we were ready to do was to go straight to soul-la-lujah at zuzu's back in cambridge and dance our fried biscuits off, but unfortunately, we were far away from zuzu's and we had a long ride to my parents house in defeated...so we popped in my bill withers cd and hit the hiway.
the visit with family wasn't nearly as stressful as i had imagined, with everything sort of on the 'backburner' as they say, and nothing anyone can do about them anyway, we tried to be in the best of spirits and keep things positive. my brother's banjo and lots of beer helped with that. a short and sweet trip, we went antique-ing one day in lebanon and found some unusually odd items. this, definitely, won the award for "most offensive item ever found anywhere". it's an ashtray, if you didn't realize.

no, we didn't buy it. we thought long and hard about and looked deep inside ourselves, and realized that the offensiveness definitely outweighed the humor. i was able to actually find some nice jewelry, a pair of silver and amber earrings for ten bucks, and a nice siam pin. ernie found an iron rooster for his mom's evergrowing collection, and a jack daniel's shotglass. nothing truly exceptional, but we were more than happy roaming around all the attics full of iron pots, depression glass and baby doll heads.
a long long long way home, waiting hours in the airports because of rain, or some sort of weather disturbances, i kept the xannex flowing and slept on the floor of the airport, while ernie finished his faulkner. finally back in mass around two a.m., we settled our heads into our pillows and dreamt of banjos, blues, stack shoes, otis, aretha, isaac and ray...all fried up to perfection and covered in powedered sugar, of course.
the real king in memphis...

memfra

here in memphis staying in a hotel beside the pyramid. if you've never been to memphis, yes, there is a lifesize pyramid downtown. it's odd...and i completely forgot it was there until we pulled into town and ernie remarked "what the hell is that!?"
ernie had business meetings all day yesterday, so i had the day to myself to wander around this fine city. my first stop was lunch, at the front desk recommended restaurant called "westy's". how the lady at the front desk knew that this would be one of my new favorite restaurants, i have no idea. it was almost as if i had written the menu myself. here are a few sample items:
-cream cheese and olive on grilled rye
-honey melt, grilled cheese with honey in the middle
-peanut butter n' honey grilled sandwich
-turkey rueben (a fave of mine at any sandwich shop)
-chicken n' spinach with cream cheese sandwich
-around 20 wild rice dishes
-3 different kinds of hot tamales
-and of course, my all time fave: fried pickle spears

i sat down at the bar, beaming, and ordered a ginger ale, my usual drink of choice. then noticed the waiters roaming around with pitchers of iced tea. SWEET TEA! how could i forget that i'm back in tennessee, and they actually serve fresh brewed sweet tea, everywhere. i was saddened with my ginger ale decision.
at the end of the meal the waitress kindly offered me dessert choices, which i wasn't hungry for in any way, but on the menu, one of westy's specialties, is...are you ready...fried biscuits with powdered sugar, cinnamon and honey. dear lord...who knew they were selling pieces of heaven at a diner in memphis.

after lunch, i hopped on these trolley cars that run up and down the memphis streets and headed down to beale street, because honestly, i couldn't think of any where else to go. my idea of getting on a bus and heading over to the stax museum of soul music was dashed when my waitress at westy's told me that it wasn't really the type of neighborhood i should be taking the bus to. when in rome, i suppose.
so, beale street it was. beale st has really changed since the last time i was here, it's much more, gentrified, but still some nice and dirty dives if you know where to look. the first thing i noticed was the massive amount of squashed penny machines there were, and being myself an avid collector, i quickly rounded up quarters and pennies and made my way down the street, machine by machine. i was even able to find a very rare squashed dime machine that embedded your tender with a very odd and sort of creepy pic of elvis (of course).
my favorite stop had to be at a store called A.Schwabs...i can't believe these places still exist. my guess is that it was an actual old department store from back in the 20's before the mallification of america...thing is, it's still pretty much the same store. i must have walked around for an hour looking at the dollar toys, overalls, old women's stockings, homemade canned goods and lye soaps. another thing i noticed in the store was the amount of voodoo items, and books on dream interpretation and number readings. odd placement i thought for these items, but i guess the voodoo community is thriving in memphis. my purchases from this fine establishment, included two pamplets: MacDonald's Farmers Almanac for 2006 (which will be quoted many times later in this blog, i'm sure) and Dr.MacDonald's Astrological Dream Book, a comprehensive and scientific system for the interpretation of dreams (their words not mine).
after this amazing experience, i headed to a record store and bought a bill withers cd, since i had been craving that 'use me' song since i got here. i also bought some nice postcards, thelonius monk, and mississippi john hurt. to end my day, i headed over to the museum of rock and soul which is owned and operated by the smithsonian, a small museum but very informative. the best part is the headphones they give you, and throughout the museum are jukeboxes, you can punch in the numbers on your headphones and just sit and listen to music if you want. my favorites were 'blues stay away from me' by the delmore brothers (i've always loved this song) and 'i can't stand the rain' by ann peebles (missy didn't do this song justice)...and so many others...just sitting and listening to old blues, country and soul was literally a perfect end to my day.

cheers.

i'll fly away...

it's no secret that i'm no fan of flying. maybe in a more esoteric since of the word, but as for getting into a large metal box with about 150 strangers and heading up to heavens, it's just not for me.
so, today, i fly home to tennessee for a short trip. a sad, and i'm sure to be stressful trip, since this might be the last time i see my little brother before he is tried and wrongly accused of something he couldn't have done.
this time, i'm more leary of the trip, than the travel. but, as calm as i try to be about my coming flight, my muscles are tense, my hands tremble, i feel a bit of a knot coming up in the pit of my stomach and i wonder where it is all coming from. since i was a child, i've wanted to travel all over the grand earth, so how did i get so afraid of this things that i have no control over.

off i go in my comfiest of pants, and softest of sweaters to brave the great skies above...xannex in pocket, clara rockmore in my cd player.

ahh.

blessed arrangement...

*"hard life" by will oldham..bonnie 'prince' billy (from the album, 'master and everyone')
while my diligent and ever patient husband was slowly and painstakingly editing our wedding pictures the other night, he pulled out this album for background. it's always odd when you fall in love with a song, and then as time goes by, you just stop listening to it, falling in love with newer, younger songs, and then one day...one day, you find it again, on a whim, on an old mixtape or while tooling around the internet, and lo, you're still as completely in love with it as you were before.
this song, 'hard life' is lovely, and achingly painful. it almost rips your heart out and makes you want to sit in a dark corner with a nice cheap bottle of cherry port (even if you're perfectly happy with current relationships, this song will pull out the pain of the past for you to wallow in and relish).

mushaboom

i don't quite remember what number i was on with this song listing thing, so i'm just going to start a random listing, you know, for fun or some such.
*"mushaboom" by fiest: i was wandering around on myspace last night, and came across a friend's page with this song on it. i had heard the song on a movie i recently saw, ('you me and everyone we know', i think was the title) and thought it was great, but soon forgot about it. now, i can't seem to get it out of my head. it is, honestly, the catchiest damn song i've heard since sliced bread. i checked out the rest of the album, and plan on buying it post haste, it's sultry, and slow and laid back and low, and good for mornings and summer. ahh...summer, i can't wait to get back to the beach. (some info for the info obsessed, 'fiest' is the girl that sings with kings of conveinence and a few others)

like i said, i can't get that song out of my head, so, that's it for today.

balkan beats dance party

living in boston, oftentimes i'm on the tailend of the 'trends' as they say...so, on saturday night mr.man and i decided to drive our lazy bones down to nyc to see just what exactly was going on with this 'bulgarian bar' at 416 broadway and canal that we had heard so very much about. i noticed on the website that a certain dj soko would be bringing his balkan beats dance party there and i have to say, i was terribly terribly excited about it. we got caught in miserable traffic on 95, absolutely miserable...tried to use our gps to find a shortcut through greenpoint and williamsburgh,...will not try that again. (but, we did discover the greenpoint indie underbelly amongst the wharehouses and hasidic jews).

we met with some buds for a bit of dinner, then went to a bar for a spot of drink and to kill some time...ending up at the bulgarian community cultural club at around midnight to find that it was absolutely full to the gills with sweaty, dancing crazy people (although, looking very inconspicous from the street, we almost walked by it, thinking that it was just a really hopping kabab stand in chinatown). the only way to make it to the bar, was to dance...and dance we did...danced our asses almost clean off...up until 230/3am when our craving for a good slice of pizza (which doesn't exist in bostontown), caused us to pull our sweaty bodies out of the crowd and head over to macdougal. i can honestly say that if you like to dance (or just be pummeled by bodies), and you like any sort of roma/gypsy/balkan techno love, you will not be disappointed by the bulgarian bar, especially when dj soko spins. i've also heard that on certain thursday nights when they aren't on tour, mr. eugene hutz of gogol bordello fame also dj's there.

except for the terrible traffic to and from the city (may a pox be upon you, conneticut!), the trip was amazing. i would suggest to all to go support the bulgarians, drink their juice, and rub against their sweaty bodies.

beat circus at tt the bears, cambridge TONIGHT!

ok, so i know that many of you may have heard me rave about this little band in boston called 'the beat circus', and now, you, my dear friends, have your chance to see this amazing performance in person if you have not in the past had the chance.
tonight at tt the bears in cambridge, ma, a show to raise the carnies in all of us, the beat circus will perform beautiful new arrangements right before your very ears.
come and be amazed...you will not be disappointed, i promise you.

best...site...ever...

you want it, you need it in your life...go get it, the chuck norris...he is coming for you!!

pod...cast?

i suppose i'm the last one on the boat as regards to the introduction of "podcast", but i finally found one that i don't mind listening to. in fact, it's quite hilarious, and i think everyone should hear it.
it's the podcast of ricky gervais, and stephen merchant (of 'office' fame)...go here and listen ya puffs!

wear and tear

as many of you know (or maybe not) i (and my family) have been under tremendous stress these past few years...and it seems that things just keep getting worse for us. my own life, here in massachusetts, i suppose is going well, kind of slow, but well, for the most part. but the horrors that my family is having to deal with right now is almost unbearable.
so, this brings me to my health problems. so many, i can not keep up with my doctors appointments. i've seen cardioligists, neurologists, behavoural therapists, psychiatrists, and my own primary care doctor so many times that i thought i might send her a christmas card and invite her over for dinner. i've had so much blood work done, an mri, an ekg, an ecg, and so on. next week, i go into the malden hospital for a 'sleep study'. you go in at 830pm, they hook you up to multiple machines to measure multiple things, and expect you to somehow 'sleep' for them to study how well you sleep (or how well you sleep in a hospital with machines hooked up to you). my doctors (plural) all have a suspician that i'm suffering from accumulative stress disorder and panic disorder and a touch of depression to spice the pot. my one psychiatrist actually told me that i had a "melange" of psychiatric problems (a little ocd, a little add, a little panic disorder, a little anxiety disorder, a little manic depressive...sort of a 'melting pot of crazy' if you will).
so, as all good doctors do, they've perscribed me various medications to help me with my "issues"...prozac, being the drug of choice for me now.
the prozac causes it's own problems, and i'm not so sure i'll be on it much longer. i seem to have started having involuntary muscle spasms, as if i'm being shocked with an electric pulse. these spasms, which occur mostly as night, when i'm trying to relax, cause me to take more of the "as needed" xannex that they gave me. and as many of you may know, xannex is good good stuff. now i'm wondering how long i have to be on prozac before i get addicted to xannex, and how long i have to keep going to the doctor before they figure out what the hell is wrong with me.
ahh...a drug companie's dream patient.

"my analyst told me, that i was right out of my head,
she said i'd need treatment, but i'm not that easily led,
she said, i was the type that was most inclined,
when out of my head, to be out of my mind,
and she said i was nuts, that i'm crazy,
but i'm not" -joni

ok kids, listen up!

dearies, if you are bored with current weather conditions in your area, or just need an all around cheering up, i've found that live music usually does the trick.
here, for your parousal, a few shows i would recommend to you:
(it's not a complete list, but most of the good ones)

Jan.24, Tuesday: Deerhoof @ Middle East down
Jan.25, Wednesday: The Walkman w/ Mazarin @ Middle East down
Jan.26, Thursday: The Beat Circus w/ Alek K. Redfearn w/ Guignol @ TT the bears
Jan.27, Friday: our old friend Robbie Lee @ the Zeitgeist
Jan.28, Saturday: NYC show: Balkan Beats Dance party, Mehanata (bulgarian bar, nyc)
Jan.29, Sunday: NYC show: The Beat Circus w/ Guignol @ Mo Pitkins, NYC
Feb.2, Thursday: Low w/ His Name is Alive @ the Somerville Theater
FEb.10, Friday: Supergrass @ the Paradise
Feb.10, Friday: The Beat Circus @ Cafe9 New Haven, CT
Feb.11, Saturday: The Beat Circus @ BAM cafe, Brooklyn, NY
FEb.20, Monday: Edith Frost @ PA's Lounge, somerville
Feb.21, Tuesday: Animal Collective @ the Paradise
Feb.27 & 28: Monday&Tuesday: The New Pornographers w/ Belle & Sebastian @ Avalon
Mar.19, Sunday: Silver Jews @ Middle East down
Mar.23, Thursday: Mates of State @ Middle East down
Mar.26, Sunday: The Gossip @ Middle East down
Mar.27, Monday: Magnolia Elec. Co. w/ Destroyer @ Middle East down

updates to come.
cheers.

part of the story...

this is the link to my little brother's art site.
his name is nigel watkins, as many of you know, he's been through hell and back these past few years (story will come later, it's a serious tragedy, i'm not so sure is tellable in blogspace, but it should and will definitely be told). please, if you can, check out his work, if you'd like to purchase any of it, let me know...he'd also be happy to hear any positive comments from anyone.

monkey!!!!

a surreal trip to one of the only antique stores open on cape cod the day after new years...the nice man offered to sell us this delightful porcelein monkey mask for a mere ten bucks, but i was much too afraid of the 'monkey hauntings' that would occur after the purchase. i've known a few to have the 'monkey hauntings' and they aren't pleasant. 

knitting, tea and nice, knee length skirts...

i've been secretly reading an an old friends blog, and she had written a piece about growing old, and fully realizing that she was, in fact, getting older. sometimes, depending on my mood, this is a pleasant realization, but usually, it's a thick punch in the stomach, that causes me to run to the nearest bed and hide, shaking under the comforters.
and yet, as i sit here, waiting for my loverly husband to cook breakfast at 1pm on a saturday, listening to npr, drinking whole leaf green tea, and wondering which knitting project i should start on today...i think, huh, this isn't so terribly bad at all.
maybe it was my recent new years eve experience (which is a story in itself, but summed up, it basically consisted of ernie and i going to an illadvised party on cape cod, with many teenagers, two kegs, and some yagermeister and when we lied to a butterfaced little 18 year old and told her that we were 23 and 25 years old, she looked at us with her little drunken eyes and said, "oh, that's ok", as if we had just told her that we both had cancer), that caused me to not, in any way, miss my youth...maybe it's my two (count'em), two therapist..who knows.

so, being 30, not having done many of the things that i was most positive that i would do in my youth, i honestly don't think that i would go back. i am happy sitting her in my robe, husband frying up some veggie sausage, sipping on my obsessively brewed whole leaf green tea, and waiting patiently for 'this american life' to come on while i do my laundry.

the graveyard of the gashlycrumb tinies. 

new years on cape cod.  

and this, is one of my other favorite gifts from this year. to my friend rachael from long ago, you may be getting a package of homemade peeps in the mail...i'll be sure not to seal the envelope so they'll be nice and stale. 

hoppy halidays

i really enjoy the act of giving at christmas, having not really done it my entire life (although my mother was always giving us gifts all through the year, spoiling us rotten), i never had occasion to 'give' other people things, random people who think it's strange if you just 'give' them things during the middle of the year (as i often do). so, christmas to me, is much more fun i think, than it is for most. 
but, in not exactly the same way, i also enjoy 'getting'. and this, dear readers, is one of my favorite gifts from this year. feel free to ooohh and ahhh, and fill up with jealousy of my extremely tasteful husband.

mr man and i teaching our five year old niece how to iceskate in central park, looking frightened that she would surely break an arm.  

roll over...

6. "walk on the fire" : edith frost
if you've not discovered miss edith frost, may i encourage you to please check her out. my favorite version of this song is on her demo album (which is just amazing for a singer songwriter indie type thingie)...but it is also on her album, "telescopic" , which was produced by mr.neil michael hagerty (royal trux fame, among others)...the entire album is incredible, i could pretty much put this album on at any time on any day in any mood and feel great about it. high mountain praise for this one.
7. "seems i never tire of lovin' you" : nina simone
many personal reasons behind loving this song, and getting that flutterbye feeling in my stomach when it plays and she sings...she sings....she...sings...
8. "just like christmas" : low
having not 'observed' christmas for most of my life, it seems that my husband and i happen to own many more christmas albums than the average couple our age (one of us being agnostic as well)...but the LOW christmas album is one that should be owned by many, many. it is warm, and happy, and sometimes terribly sad, but always beautiful. when rushing through the bitter crowds of people on my commute to downtown boston each day this month, this song hums in my head most days...and keeps me healthy and fairly sane. (along with my pills)

can isaak come over?

4. 'neverending math equation' : sun kill moon (cover of modest mouse)
my favorite cover from the acclaimed sun kill moon 'modest mouse' cover album. it's a perfect blend of what i love about mark kozelek, and what i love about isaak brock.
5. 'korkore zav ande kalyi ratyi' : romanyi rota
roma roma...again with the gypsy music. i'm not usually a fan of the putumayo compalations, but there is one called "gypsy caravan" that i would quite recommend, if not already. this song is hungarian, and makes me want to dance around in poofy pants with jangly earrings.

this is our tree, before we humiliate it and dress it up like a vegas whore. 

red rover, red rover...

oh yes, wrong game. it seems someone has 'tagged' me to spend the next weeks of my life detailing for you, blogreaders (hello?), my 49 favorite songs. since i've not the time to spend these weeks detailing for you these songs, i'm going to do it, litte bits, by little bits.
these will be a mix of favorite songs of all time, and songs i'm currently donning on my cd mixes (since, no, i don't have an ipod, or any other sort of teeny tiny music loading device to listen to on the train/bus/streetcorner...i've a cd player, it's bulky, it's obnoxious, and i love it).
here goes first:

1. 'start wearing purple': gogol bordellowhen listening to this song on my downtown commute, i often get giggly with images of everyone on the train, throwing hands in the air, kicking feet to the wind, and yelling this song at the top of their lungs until they're forget they're going to work and everyone goes out to buy garish, expensive new shoes.
2.'life on mars': david bowiei tried to convince my husband to walk down the aisle to this after our wedding ceremony, but he was put off by all of the questions his family would have certainly had if we had done such. simply put, i love this song. i love bowie. i can't get enough of it. and it's great in portuguese as well, who knew?
3. 'pretty paper': willie nelsonthere are many christmas songs that are just, so terribly sad...and this is certainly one of them. (frosty the snowman, being another) but, it's one of the most beautiful christmas ballads out there in the christmas ether, and i would happily listen to it year round.

that's it for now kiddies. more soon.

drifting along...

"See them tumbling down
Pledging their love to the ground
Lonely but free I'll be found
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds."

*the idea that a tumbleweed could 'pledge it's love to the ground' almost makes me misty.

nothing to report. new parttime job. prozac makes me tired. xanax makes me more. my girl crush on gwen stefani rages on.

cheers.

Nipponzan Myohoji Sangha Peace Pagoda, Leverett, MA

a calming sunday visit to one of only two peace pagodas in the united states in leverett massachusetts.  
a beautiful, calming sancuary on a mountain side. with goldfish pond and rock garden. but volunteers (and money) are needed for the completion of their temple.
i would highly recommend a visit. the only other peace pagoda in the united states is in grafton, new york.