thompson square park...on a lazy day sunday in nyc. 

in line for the swinging cars... 

. 

the wonderful wonder wheel 

the 'self proclaimed' 'real' king of the polar bears... 

punch drunk on the way home from coney island... 

redbones

playing with our new digital camera...my sugar sweet fiance, at our favorite place to eat large quantities of barbeque and drink wonderfully large amounts of mojitos. 

mermaids, carnys, and freaks...oh my!

what we must do is live our lives to the absolute fullest. that is what we must do. so i propose a trip. out of this miserable bostontown and into 'the real city', full of endless possibilities, both good and bad, great and tragic...to a party of the greatest possible proportions. full of freaks and ferris wheels, cotton candy and skee ball, bright beaches and carousels, tiny wine bottles and boardwalk beauties.
come one come all to the mermaid parade, at coney island, brooklyn, ny....june 25th.
it would be an absolute shame if you missed it.

Jason Irving Doeg, 1982-2005

'Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.'
-edna st. vincent millay-

we miss you j.

pamelia kurstin is f*cking hot

no post in quite some time, i just noticed. ernie and i are deep into wedding planning blitz mode. ("second times a charm", that's the phrase, right?)
but, i thought i would just write and let everyone know that my favorite boston based motleys are playing upstairs at the middle east on thursday, may 26. for those of you who aren't 'in the circus/sideshow music know', i'm referring to the amazing 'beat circus'. they will be playing along with another favorite of mine from brooklyn, 'barbez'...which happens to include the hottest living actual theremin player in the universe...pamelia kurstin. yes, that's right folks, she actually plays, as opposed to just fondling the theremin for her own personal enjoyment (as i've been know to do).
also, playing will be the guitar/accordian project 'gutterhelmet'...alec k. redfern, you rock my socks with your accordian box. (that sounded much more naughty than i had intended)

so, if you're in the boston area, come to the middle east up, on thursday night, may 26. you will be shocked and amazed.

les yeux noirs!!

wednesday...one of those days when you know that laying on the couch and watching horrific reality tv will only leave you with a television hangover in the morning, so you force yourself to go out, do something, and you feel so much better for it...so much better.
on these midweek nights when ernie and i need to get off the couch and away from the tele, we go down to davis square. last night i had noticed that there was a band from paris called les yeux noirs playing at johnny d's. a "russian french yiddish gypsy fiddle driven ensemble"...honestly, how could we go wrong??
all i can say is that the cd's that they were selling were horribly overpriced at twenty american dollars, (i am assuming because the dollar is crap), and i readily and easily handed our twenty over to the lovely french fiddle player...with a smile, no less.
they were, astonishing.
to anyone, and everyone who has the chance, please, i implore you, go see this band. not only is the brother fiddle duo quite 'easy on the eyes' as the girls would say, but they're absolutely talented as well.

updates

i never meant for this site to be about 'updates'...but here are a few affecting my life right now:
-i am engaged, with a lovely sapphire and diamond ring
-it is warm today in boston, it is spring in boston, i am happier in boston (rare)
-my brother daniel is home in tennessee from iraq, he is alive
-my brother nigel is out of prison on bail, his trial has been postponed until august, he is alive
-my parents are deeper and deeper in debt, almost to bankruptcy, but they have their two youngest sons home for at least a short while, and they are happy
-my bike is out of the garage for the first time in two years...rode it with ernie on the cape next to the ocean this weekend...so beautiful
-my 'to do' lists are getting longer and longer
-still miss ny, it's still my 'goal'

i'm sure it's chemical, but even with all that is still happening with my family, the fact that it has warmed a bit in new england has changed my mood considerably for the better. anxiously awaiting my first summer swim at walden pond.

secrets

maybe jumping the bandwagon late...but in my obnoxious job above the garbage dump, this website helps me with my day.

. 

. 

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sent to me by a very talented craftster swappee... 

la vie en rose...

may i humbly suggest to anyone in the boston area, to please go to the lizard lounge on saturday, april 9th at 8pm to see ZIAF (playing the songs of edith piaf). i've seen them twice before, and they are wonderful. the lead singer, while not sounding exactly like piaf, (but who could, really?), has an amazing voice.
they will be playing two sets, along with some other local bands, including 'cirkestra', a three piece (accordian, violian, bass fiddle) who play circus sideshow americana type whatnot.
salut!

a fine city indeed...tres bon

i should change the name of this blog, to the 'a-ok' blog...since i've no reason whatsoever to want to chronicle the awful stesses that are actaully happening. only the good. to all of the morose, my apologies.
a much much needed weekend trip to montreal...a break from massachusetts...a break from this country...a break from reality. my first visit to the fine french city...i'm absolutely in love.
rekindling my adoration of the language, i bought some cd's to help me begin my quest to master the language and undo all of the damage my highschool french teacher, with a tennessee accent, might have inflicted. over the weekend a friend of mine commented that if she learned to speak fluent french, her 'stock' would go up 100 points. i heartily agree, and intend to invest fourfold in my 'stock', as i'm almost thirty, and being able to hold a perfect french conversation (and roll my 'r's in all of the right places) would most likely distract from my continually sagging ass and laugh lines. more charming than botox, i'm sure.

happy birthday miss rockmore...

today is miss clara rockmore's birthday. she would have been 94 years old. she passed in 1998. thank you miss rockmore.

only positives

there is much more negative than positive in my life as of late...so today, i will not write about the negatives. they really don't deserve any more of my time. it's just as well, most of the negatives are so unbelievable and sad that they don't really transfer well to the page...unless of course, i'm dave eggars (harharhar).
positives: (they are small, but they are strong)
*massive amounts of snow in boston this winter, lending to many nights of sledding and pizza. yes, i'm sick of the snow, but the sledding has made it much more bearable. in fact, the sledding has made many things in my life much more bearable.
*finishing my first stencil design on a shirt, it turned out well. learning more about that devil program photoshop to use for my crafting advantage.
*finishing my first knitted wire bracelet with beads. my fingers were blistered, but it looks quite nice.
*found an amazing, kick ass pair of 1970's leather knee boots at a thrift shop for only five (5) bucks!!
*the beat circus show at tt's. long, drawn out, they didn't play until 12:30am (on a school night, no less) but it was well worth it.
*finishing "hunger" by knut hamson. wondering why i hadn't read this much much earlier in my life. highly recommended.
*discovering a new writer in the new yorker, that i actually like.
*reading on the bus.
*knowing that certain members of my family are safe, and alive.

these are all of the positives i could muster. there are the usual suspects...ernie, he is always a positive. my apartment, always a positive that i have a roof, and my warm bed. but i find it's easier and more comforting for me, if i focus on the smaller things. makes the reality of certain things seem much less horrible than they actually are.

manolo says super fantastic...

while doing some nonsensical searching on the internets...i came across this completely ridiculous blog...manolo's shoe blog. disregard the fact that it's mostly all about shoes and fashion, and it's one of the funniest things i've read...today, at least. don't miss the cafepress store, where you can buy a coffee mug that reads...
"manolo says, the hassellhoff, he is comfortable in his celebrity."

yay! 

something positive...

on saturday evening, i got a phone call from my mom, an exhausted sounding, but exited message on my machine...they had heard from daniel. he was being sent to kuwait, to wait to be sent back to okinawa. on the 25th, if all is well, he'll be sent home...to tennessee....when i heard the message i couldn't help but cry. i hardly ever cry happy tears, i always thought it felt so odd...but, i couldn't control them, they just came. the past few days have been so completely emotional. as close as my family and i are, we hardly ever talk on the phone these days...it's just too painful...all of the things going on. and then the news of the crash...and then finding out that daniel is ok, and might even come home (pre empted by the news that he was on the 'second' helicopter, the one that didn't crash, 50/50 chances).
i've heard no news to tell me different, so my hope is still that he is on his way out of there. it's the only positive news my family has had in some time...and it makes me wonderfully happy and terribly nervous.

waiting...

yesterday in iraq, a helicopter went down in the desert and 31 marines were killed. among those 31 marines, 27 of them were stationed in kaneohe bay hawaii, and were with the 1st battalion, 3rd marines, 3rd division, III meu...this is the same battalion that my younger brother is with. as more and more time goes by, more and more names are released, and having not heard any news from my parents as of yet, my hopes are high that he is ok. but, there is the still fear. so much fear that my stomach is in knots. the waiting is almost unbearable. and then still more fear and anxiety, will he remain and be sent home safe?
coupled with the fear is the absolute anger that i feel toward bush, and the current administration. bush spoke yesterday, of how these deaths may "discourage" the american people, but we must stay with it, to "spread freedom". he showed no emotion for the fallen, i honestly don't think i've ever seen him show any emotion for any of the 1400 men who have died recently for the lies we've been told...we are already discouraged mr.president, we have been for a while.
but, no amount of political ranting will make this ok.
my heart goes out to the families of the marines who died yesterday. i'm sure my brother was friends with some of them, and they are not alone in their grieving.

the obligatory "oh my jesus, could there be any more snow?!" post

so. it snowed. and then it snowed. and then some more it snowed. and we shoveled and shoveled, and then some more we shoveled. and tomorrow, here in beantown, it will snow again. but we will not shovel...we will sled.
because, last night...on a fairly fresh two feet of snow, we managed to find, the best sledding hill ever!! it's no secret, in fact, it's pretty much one of the only hills in boston...but, damn, it's a good one. leave it to harvard to create a perfect little slice of park heaven in the middle of jamaica plain. for those of you who are not aware of the absolute, A-#1 Best Thing In Boston...you must visit the Arnold Arboretum in JP. ernie and i discovered it this summer, on a lazy sunday afternoon with nothing else to do but brush each other's hair, and read the paper. we had long thought that jamaica plain was much too far to drive for a park, but had heard that the arboretum held unknown pleasures, and it was sunday, so why not travel. it turned out to be, as said, heavenly. literally, it was what i imagine heaven would look like, complete with a lilac hill, a rose pond, a cedar forest and a bonsai garden.
the hill that we went to last night was easily a quarter mile to the top, if not more...starting off at a fair pace, not too slow, not too fast, and then ending with a burst of speed and craziness, before delivering you softly to the bottom of the hill without fear of tree injuries or snowbanks. it was only after four or five trips having to walk our sleds back to the top, that we realized why sledding should be done during the day and not at ten o'clock at night (at 11 degrees out), and why we should really take better care of ourselves and do a lot more cardio. pants wet, and frozen, thoroughly out of breath, we did the only thing we could do. we went for pizza...sicilian style.
it's odd how parts of your life can be absolutely perfect at times, while other parts of your life are farther from perfect than they've ever been.

correction: it is an '18k' gold tipped fountain pen.

this is the man that just bought me a 14k gold tipped fountain pen...loverly loverly loverly. 

one too many mornin's...

not feeling the least bit bloggish of late. with the absolute reality of things weighing so heavy on my head it's harder and harder to lift myself from the pillow each day. but, i do...eventually. 'tis the season...supposedly happy.
to distract myself as of late:
not been doing much reading, other than the occasional copy of the onion, or short story/article from the new yorker. took a four year old child to new york city for her first visit (and during christmas, no less)...outstandingly enlightening. it's funny that i'm still astonished when children notice things i would have never seen, even if i've been there a thousand times. i don't think i've completely forgotten what it was like. have i?
met new friends of mine, old friends of ernie's, visiting from sweden. went to a show in boston, at great scott. saw local bands, tristan da cunha, night rally, and the clickers. spazzy proggish art rock...described by someone as not being within an arm's length of 4/4 time. but, again, i continue to be pleasantly suprised by boston's local music scene. three local bands, and i liked them all. although, call me old fashioned, but the clickers were a little too much fugazi and not enough artrock for me. ;-) ..it's a joke, a really bad joke.
there are many other things i'm sure i could mention...but as i said, not feeling bloggish.
off on a holiday adventure. up to new york, then down to tennessee to see what the new year will bring. it must be better than the last. it really must. i don't think i'll survive another 2004.
cheers.

some girly shot glasses i made with my magical etching creme... 

laundry day...

just a bit of how my life is going right now...
did laundry today. i own 6 pair of pajama pants...and 2 pair of regular pants.
six (6) pair of pajama pants.

so many depressing things in my life, here is one small positive...through the wonder of the internet, found a mix listed on catbirdseat today that some random person had made, that lifted my head.
lovely mix.

more living...

no more positive news from home. only sadness. never did i think that i would one day be afraid to call my family or pick up the phone, for fear of the worst. my brother nigel is still suffering in jail for a horrible crime that he did not commit...that he could not have even contemplated committing. and my youngest brother is still in iraq, i hope doing ok, fighting for democracy.
democracy...what a completely cruel joke. yes, yes, i know we live in one of the more "just" societies in this world...but when utter injustice is affecting the very lives of the people you love, it's almost impossible to rally around it.
but, as is said, by many, when dealing with so much sadness and cruelty that the brain shuts down, "life will go on".

even though the weather in new england is holding out, and the days are nice and breezy at worst...i can't seem to get out of the house for more than a few hours. so, i sit on the couch, and obsessively knit. it's comforting, i suppose. but, i think my muscles are beginning to atrophy. since i went from walking two to three miles a day, to sitting, for hours on end, for days at a time; my body is in protest...and i can barely get out of a chair without my bones cracking and complaining.

so, tonight...it's off to the middle east...for shortlived respite. one of my few favorite things about boston, the beat circus are playing along with a gypsy punk band called gogol bordello and a gothic cabaret band from nyc called barbez (who, if the website is correct, have an amazing theremin player, who actually 'plays' the theremin, and has been playing for eight years, rather than just tinkering with it, as i do). there will also be a fire eater from coney island, to help things along, if the psycho circus music, gypsy punks, and theremin playing just aren't exiting enough for everyone. ;-)

the sky isn't falling...so i guess it's a good day.

this is my new project...you guessed it...another scarf. in double seed stitch...again...easy, distracting. that's all i need. 

close up of the pattern...very easy...very distracting...involves tiny spurts of tedious counting...always good to keep your mind off more urgent matters. 

...bit of a blur...but, to further my distractions in this time of utter unemployment...i finally finished ernie's scarf in basket weave. 

i think i'm going to be sick

this is possibly the saddest, most nauseating thing i've ever read...

sweeping the nation...

i'm much more upset about bush being elected president than i thought i would be. yes, i voted...for kerry. and somewhere, deep down inside, i knew, with the way things have been going lately, that he wouldn't win. the united states is filled with too many greedy idiots for anything good to ever happen, regardless of who becomes president. buckle up everyone, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
i don't know if i can properly explain what's happening in my life without sounding like some sort of sad and tragic novel. "psychological displacement"...i think that's what they call it. i'm almost numb, at this point. tears come only every now and then.
this morning, at three a.m., i had a phone call from my mom, telling me that she had just had a phone call from daniel, my brother in the marines, in iraq. we were afraid of the worst when we found out that the nine marines that had recently been killed in iraq were all in daniel's battalion. he said that he knew most of them, and was close with a few of them. they were only about two miles away when the blast happened. so close. the reality of this whole indescribable madness hits home, every single day...and it's been hitting harder and harder lately.
add this to the incredible pain and tragedy that has already been happening to my family, and i honestly wonder how much more we can take.
if we are under the illusion that we have any sort of "control" over our lives, by trying to live our lives in certain ways (good or bad)...we are horribly wrong. because, as much as we try to 'understand' why such tragedies happen, the absolute truth is that there aren't any real reasons for them.
it's heartbreaking...almost literally, to try to accept this fact. but, there's nothing else to do...life will go on with, or without us, whether we like it or not.

dismal. i know. but hey, that's life, right?

ernie and i blurred almost to nothing... 

ernie and i again. 

ernie and i. 

halloween in our kitchen with andy warhol, michael moore, a yankees fan, and the ringmaster. sally in her bondage.  

also the halloween party....we projected movies onto our celing...for ambiance. i think it may have made everyone sleepy...or maybe that was the wine....ernie and i cheered ourselves up at the end of the night by watching punch drunk love on our 'big screen'... 

our halloween party on saturday. circus theme...it was fun...our decorations turned out better than the actual party...time to change our routine, indeed. 

easier than the saw??? 

easier than the theremin?? 

murphy is beaming...

becomming more and more impossible to be positive about my life and the lives of people that i love, i found that it is easier to be 'distracted' than positive.
at least, my brain seems to think so. so it turns itself on and off and off and on...never paying attention to the time of day or my mood.
distractions of recent:
on thursday night at the middle east club in cambridge, a boston based band called 'the beat circus' had their cd release party. i was absolutely astonished by this band, and would highly recommend to anyone with a penchant for tightly played drunken circus music to buy their new cd 'ringleaders revolt'. they are quite possibly my new favorite thing about boston (favorite things about boston being very rare). opening for the beat circus was a band from brooklyn called 'one ring zero', complete with a theremin and claviola, as well as box drum, and accordian. on their newest cd, 'as smart as we are', they were able to charm several well known authors into writing lyrics for the songs...such as, rick moody, dave eggers, jonathan letham, margaret atwood, lemony snicket, and tons of others. also opening was a cute band from boston called the sob sisters. a three piece with a saw player, flapper outfits and kazoos. just adorable.
in the midst of it all, was a psychotic banjo plucker named curtis eller.
it was quite a show. much needed distraction indeed.
down to tennessee tomorrow. home again in a bit.

future

i never really knew what i wanted to be when i grew up. i guess that's why i never really became anything. i still think sometimes, just for comfort, i'm not grown up. telling myself that i still have more time to do whatever i want with my life, and actually make something meaningful out of it. like i said, for comfort...not reality. i'm pale, i'm pretty whiney and selfish. but quicker than one thinks, priorities in your life can suddenly shift. the only things that i truly care about in my life right now, are getting my little brother out of jail (something that i can do nothing about, short of coming up with a quick fifty thousand dollars), making sure my parents don't both have a nervous breakdown from the stress, and staying in touch with my other younger brother who is fighting somewhere in iraq with the marines, hoping that someone is looking out for him.
so much uncertanty, it's amazing to me that we are even able to walk around like we do, without crumpling up on the sidewalk and crying ourselves to sleep.

horrible world

in the blink of an eye, your whole life can change...with one swift phone call from home...all happy memories now sad...in just a few seconds, everything can be destroyed.

republicans need a little t&a too

the village voice has posted a blog from a waitress at a strip club near the republican national convention in nyc...hilarious.
good read...
http://www.villagevoice.com/blogs/stripclub/

day at walden pond

what better place to contemplate contempation than walden pond in concord ma...so, with much contemplating needing to be accomplished i dished out the five dollars to ride the commuter rail up to sweet serenity...or, at least, a good swim.
i realized when i got off the train i would have to walk two miles to the pond. it was hot...and by the time i got there, it was hard to start my contemplating with my bathing suit/tank top covered in sweat. the water was clean, and lovely are warm. and the children were loud, and crazy.
there was a group of girls beside me from cambridge reading some sort of magazine trying to figure out (by quiz with calculations) if they were, in fact, "hipsters", or "cambridge intellectuals"...i think they were actually "harvard grad students"...and i'm sure their little discussion was on the joking side, even though they did seem very concerned that they didn't fit into a category, although pleased with themselves at having come to this conclusion on their own, without help of quiz. i had to swim to almost the middle of the lake to cleanse myself of their chatter...then, being very out of shape, i had to float back...for fear of drowning. it might be easier to contemplate while drowning...but i didn't feel like drowing today.
i tried to think...i packed my things and moved to the other side of the beach..still could not think...i also couldn't get that shins song out of my head...all of them...they're all so catchy...ridiculous.

most of the day was spent sleeping on my towel, or watching babies...or staring directly into the sun (with sunglasses of course)...no contemplating. i'm jobless...i'm 29...i'm spending the day at the beach...i have the love of a good man...things could be much...much...worse.

orwell

delving deeper into non fiction, i'm now reading "the girl from the fiction department: a portrait of sonia orwell". sonia orwell was George orwell's second wife, she co-edited his four volume collection of non fiction writings, and was friends with w.h. auden, lucian freud, vivien leah and frances bacon. she was also the model for julia from orwell's 1984. apparently, orwell biographers in the past have painted a very negative portrait of her.
i'm not often a fan of biographies, but this one caught my eye...and i think it's going to, at least, be worth the time it takes to read the 178 pages.

emergenC

with nothing, absolutely nothing else to write today...i must give words to my favorite anti-oxident friend, EMERGEN-C. you taste great, and when i'm down, you bring me back up...at least for a bit.

bebe wise

on a lighter note than my last post, i would like to thank the one year old child on the train this morning for making my beginning a little more pleasant. although we were all equally packed like sardines onto the red line, this little innocent decided that it was his duty, even with his busy day ahead of him, to put his tiny hand on our legs and tell each and every one of us 'hi'.
thank you little man, you kept my head from exploding.

casualties

Main Entry: ca·su·al·ty
Pronunciation: 'ka-zh&l-tE, 'kazh-w&l-, 'ka-zh&-w&l-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
1 archaic : CHANCE, FORTUNE
2 : serious or fatal accident : DISASTER
3 a : a military person lost through death, wounds, injury, sickness, internment, or capture or through being missing in action b : a person or thing injured, lost, or destroyed : VICTIM the ex-senator was a casualty of the last election.

...yesterday i phoned my mom. my little brother daniel, who is in the marines, now stationed in okinawa, was supposed to find out when his unit would be sent to iraq. i was worried, because there has been quite a bit going on over there the past few days, and it seems like we lose soldiers by the hour at some points. my mother told me that daniel had called her on sunday and said that they still didn't know when they were going to iraq, a marine in his unit had died there recently of heat stroke, and things were a little crazy at the base. the military were investigating of course, but he was only 19, and the opinion is that he just wasn't aware that his body was failing, and didn't take enough time to rest in the heat. i felt guilty for being relieved that because of this, daniel was staying in japan...a much safer place to be right now...at least for a few more weeks. i feel for his family...to them, he was still their child (i'm sure his mom still saw his baby face when she looked at him)..and it was an unfortunate accident, he didn't die a heroic death...but still, a casualty, just the same.

baby face and falafel

in a hastily planned "date" my darling and i went to see 'baby face' for free at the boston public library. a pre code movie from 1933 starring barbara stanwyck, baby face is a very racy film about a 'lady of the night' who moves to nyc and sleeps her way to the top. even being pre code, it was unfortunately subject to the hayes code, and some severe editing that make the movie absolutely hilarious in spots and causes the tacked on 'morally approved' ending to be just completely absurd. all in all a fun movie, and the library added on a betty boop cartoon at the beginning that blatantly showcased sexual harassment between betty and the 'big boss'.
after the movie, sweetie and i went to CAFE JAFFA just off boylston street in the back bay...a great little middle eastern restaurant that serves mango sangria for two in a large shallow bowl with straws, and has the best baba ghanouj and falafel i've ever tasted. and in boston, great, inexpensive middle eastern food is a rare find.

go

in hopes that we will better ourselves and have something other than debt to possibly pass on to our children, my esteemed significant other and i visited the massachusetts go association in somerville, ma for beginners night last night to learn to play this ancient game.
at the end of the night, my brain, like most in the room who were learning, was a little numb. like learning chess, you learn the basics, get the hang of it, and then realize you don't know anything about the game at all. the subtleties and intricacies of the game are boundless. the joke (or proverb...at times, one in the same) last night was that it was best 'to lose your first 50 games as quickly as possible.' oh, and did i mention you get to play with little black and white stones? i'm sure that pelting stones at your opponent to intimidate them is not permitted in tournament play, but i'm sure it would make the game a bit more appealing to the masses.

continuous reading...

in an attempt to quench, at least for twenty minutes, my increasing boredom with this day (slower than usual)...i walked down to the boston public library (i.e. one of the most beautiful places in boston) and borrowed two books:
"the murder of dr.chapman: the legendary trials of lucretia chapman and her lover" by linda wolfe -and-
"ghost ship: the mysterious true story of the mary celeste and her missing crew" by brian hicks
...needless to say i'm addicted to non fiction...although i did finish 'pnin' by nabokov and was, as per usual, astonished still at how much i love nabokov and everything he does. highly recommended, quick (190 pgs), entertaining (laugh out loud funny in spots), and beautiful read.

testament to boredom

it seems that each time that i tell someone all i do at work is answer the phone, they always have suggestions as to what i can do with my spare time. so, i've come up with a few things of my own.
things i can do at work with my spare time:
*knit large sweaters and afghans for everyone i know
*read the entire bibliographies of tolstoy, dostoevski, turgenev, nabokov, gogol, chekhov, pushkin, bulgakov, and lemony snicket.
*write a novel wherein the first letter of each word of each sentence corresponds with ascending letters of the alphabet: for example- a buxom curlyhaired dingbat enters five grown...etc.etc.
*neatly fold ten thousand tiny origami stars
*memorize the origins of every word in the oxford english dictionary
*handmake one thousand pink pasties for my, soon to be highly acclaimed,"five hundred girl burlesque revue"
*tone my upper and lower arms to the point where i can bend steel
*learn to say "wow, those are huge bananas!" in forty different languages
*dig a hole through my cubicle with a spoon, and bust outta this joint!
*ponder ways in which elmer fudd could actually succeed at 'killing the wabbit'

...any and all further suggestions for things i can do at work in my spare time will be taken under careful consideration.